impossible | 𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙗𝙤𝙤

thirty-seven<3

"are you crying?"

i'm done.

how did he even notice. for fucks sake athena.

well lesson learnt don't put sad songs on your playlists i guess.

"yes. sad song, very, very sad song." i tried to laugh but it came out as more of a sob. "i'm not actually sad. not really"

"okay. jeez you scared me" he looked up and met my eyes for a few seconds, before smiling and looking away again.

"random question. you ever been drunk? or high?" i sat up and turned my phone off.

"not really. why?"

"do you want to?" i asked. "get drunk? and high?"

"are you asking me to smoke weed with you?"

"maybe."

"i don't think that's a very good idea" he rubbed his forehead. "um- considering the way- that last time went."

i widened my eyes slightly. well okay ranboo. that's one way to put it.

"yeah i guess. hah. i'm not usually like that i don't know- i don't know why i said that."

he looked up at me, confused.

"no wait- that's not what i mean. i obviously know why i said it- i mean like drunk words are sober thoughts? that's what people- that's what people say right? uh- i think so yeah that is... yeah. sorry i'm waffling" i rambled , feeling my face flush hot with embarrassment. "okay. leaving now"

i got up and almost ran away i was that embarrassed.

i need to tell him that i feel the same about him. unless he doesn't feel like that. how do i even do that? maybe i do just get high. right? right. high and drunk. mhm right yep.

but it's probably a bad idea. a very very bad idea. i only got drunk and high last week. i probably shouldn't. i probably should not.

i definitely should not.

during all this thinking i made it to my room, and i was sat on my bed, contemplating the very 'drunk and high' thought.

it's a bad idea. i told myself. shouldn't get high and drunk. i literally had a hangover last time. that was only a few days ago i should wait at least another week.

very very very bad idea athena. i told myself,

as i lit the joint that i had just rolled.

"hm i wonder how that happened." i raised my eyebrows at the cigarette in my hand. "wow. looks like a joint magically placed itself in my hands. how awfully convenient. looks like... i cant turn the offer down now."

i bit back a laugh as i inhaled a long drag.

"what are you doing. you are very, very underage." sapnap was stood in my doorway, staring at me as i blew the smoke from my lips.

"uh-" i made my lips into a thin line and just stared at him.

"i'm gonna regret this." he sighed, walking over to me. he held his hand out and i gave him the joint.

and then he just took a drag from it.

"sapnap youre also underage." i smiled at him and he returned the action.

"i know. i haven't smoked weed in a long time." he handed it back to me.

"i cannot say the same. i literally got very drunk. and high. like last week. and i really, really shouldn't be doing this right now because it did not end well last time. and i'd say, well look nick is here and he's going to stop me from being really dumb and saying dumb things! but youre also getting high. so-" i cut myself off by bringing the cigarette to my lips, and inhaling deeply.

"it will be more fun this way. we can deal with the consequences together." he chuckled.

"yeah." i spoke, holding in the drag i just took.

we sat in silence for a bit.

"have you got any vodka?" i ignored my thoughts telling me to stop, and that this was a bad idea.

he just pointed at me and then left.

and within five minutes he returned with a bottle of vodka, a bottle of coke, and two glasses.

boy, am i going to regret this.

1204 words

LMFAO BYE I LOVE WRITING DRUNK AND HIGH ATHENA PLUS WITH SAPNAP LMAO YALL ARE GONNA LIKE THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS.

if yall don't like the drunk chapters then lmk i can stop writing em :)

take care <3