Be Brave

03

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"CASS YOUR MOM!" bungad sakin ng nurse ni mama sa telepono pag gising ko sa umaga.

"W-what happened to m-mom" nanginginig kong tanong.Bumalikwas ako kaagad.Hindi ko alam pero iba ang kutob ko.Lord please not now.

"I-inatake y-yung m-mama mo.G-gusto ka nyang kausapin.She's very weak cass.I-I'm sorry" panlulumo nito.

"Please your mom want to see you.She's waiting."pahabol nito.

"Where's dad? Did he now it?" nangingiyak kung tanong habang nagmamadaling magbihis hindi nako naligo, wala nakong panahon para dyan ngayun mas importante ang kalagayan ni mama."Mom please be strong."bulong ko sa sarili ko habang nagmamadali.

"I call him earlier but until now I can't see his presence here."

"Tell mom I'm on my way"

Shit that man! Pinatay ko kaagad ang tawag para mapadali ang punta ko sa hospital.

How can he feel calm if his wife is in the hospital and need him by her side? Is he really that busy?
Damn that business!!

Nag madali akong pumasok sa hospital nang makarating ako.

"NURSE! 
MRS.SCOTTLEY ROOM NUMBER PLEASE!" Bulyaw ko.

"3rd floor room 092 ma'am, please calm down p-

Hindi ko na sya pinatapos,agad akong pumunta sa 3rd floor.Calm your ass.Shitt! Why this elevator is like a snail.Pag bukas ng elevator hinanap ko agad ang room.And when I found it,
I saw my mom's weak eyes.I feel my knee's shacking.

"Mom" sabi ko habang tumutulo yung luha sa mga mata ko.She smile.She always do that kahit na nahihirapan na sya.Tumulo nanaman ang luha ko dahil sa sitwasyon ni mama.

"H-hone-" Hindi nya pa natatapos mag salita niyakap ko na sya ng mahigpit sabay hagulhul.

"M-mom I'm sorry for not taking care of you" hikbi ko.

"No baby.I'm not your responsibility hmm.
I'm the one who oblige too care for you honey."sabi nya at halata sa kanya yung pagod.Napa hagulhul ulit ako.

"And I'm sorry if mom can't take care of you forever.But I promise I will guide you honey I will always beg God to preserve your life,to make your life happy." Hikbi nya.

"N-no m-mom p-please d-don't say t-that" habang tumatagal lumalaakas ang hikbi ko.

"Listen baby,mom will travel the world hmm."

"Stop saying that mom I'm already 20 and I know where will you go.J-just p-please d-dont l-leave m-me p-please."Hikbi ko.

"M-Mom is t-tired baby" hikbi nya mas lalong lumakas ang iyak ko dahil sa sinabi nya.

I hate myself! I really hate it! Damn you Cassandra Dad is right I'm a big disappointment.If only I take care Mom hindi sana sya napapagod.I hate you Self!!

"Please don't hate yourself honey.I know what's running in your head." Pinunasan nya ang luha sa pisngi ko sabay ngiti.Why you're always like this mom?

"I want to see you here not because I want you to hate yourself.I want to see you because I want you to be brave.Be a woman Cassandra,don't let everyone discriminate you,let them know that you are CASSANDRA SCOTTLEY the brave woman.You don't need to compelled people around you to like you, make them be like you because they really like you.Stay who you are honey.And I know someday this circumstances will replace with a big blessing just trust HIM.Mommy's proud of you okay? I always love you.

And after that I see my self infront of my mom's coffin.Mom is so beautiful makikita mo sa mukha nya ang maaliwalas na mukha.Naluluha nanaman ako.

"I love you mom and I miss you already" Hindi ko alam kong ilang ulit kuna tung sinasabi.

"Cass kumain ka kaya muna?" Tanong ni Xyrine.Simula nong araw na nawala si mama Xyrine never leave me.Makikita mo sa kanya ang pag aalala.

"Kahit tubig lang girl please baka mag kasakit ka, tapos ang chaka mo pa.Tingin mo ba nasisiyahan si tita ngayun dahil sa mukha mo? Imbis na paakyat na sya sa hagdan di nya magawa kasi nag aalala sya sayo.Let tita Eli rest hmm? Don't worry we will never leave you." Naiyak nanaman ako dahil sa sinabi nya.Bakit ba kailangang isali pa yung chaka epal talaga to.

But I really thank them because they didn't leave me, Zephyr and Kyros are also busy to our visitors
While Xyrine is busy on me.Bahala kang makalbo dyan kakapilit sakin tignan natin,pero baka ako pa kalbuhin nito pag di ako sumunod.Hayss I'm so tired, I just want to sleep I'm not hungry pero mapilit tung bruha kaya wala akong nagawa.Nang tignan ko si Kyros he give me a smile and I give him a small smile and mouthed "thank you" he just wink.Gago nito namatayan na nga ako ng nanay nanlalandi pa.Pero syempre gusto ko sino ba naman ako para umarte.

And Dad? Until know hindi parin sya nagpapakita.
I don't know what's his problem.Is he really love mom? Haysss trust issue layuan moko.He's still your dad Cassandra control your emotion.Baka inambunda nako non total he didn't care for me.

"Hey how are you?" Tanong bigla ng tao sa likod ko

"Ikaw raw mamatayan ng Mama?" Sabay irap sa kanya

"Luh! suplada naman madam!"
Sabay hawak sa dibdib nya kaya natawa ako.Hayss alam kong ginagawa lang nila to para kahit papano mabawasan ang sakit na nararaamdaman ko.

"AYAN!!! Ngumiti kana!!! Galing ko talagaaaa!!!"

"Tanginang bunganga yan Zeph nasa burol ka wala sa party" suway sa kanya ni Xyrine.

"What's going on?" Tanong rin ni Kyros na kararating lang tapos tumabi sakin.Haysss ano ba to nakakakilig! Kinuhanan nya pa ako ng tubig liguin ko kaya to para punasan nya rin ako?

"Tanongin mo yang kaibigan mong sira ulo"sabi naman ni Xy.Kailan ba magkakasundo tung dalawang to?

"Inaano kaba😭? Bakit parang kasalanan ko?pangit ba k-

"OO" sabay naming sabing tatlo kaya nagtawanan kami.

"Nakaka offend na kayo ha.Hindi sana kayo mag ka jowa."sabi nya kaya nagtawanan kami ulit.Nang tumigil ako napatingin ako kay Kyros kasi kanina ko pa sya napapnsing naka tingin sakin.

"I'm happy cause I see you laughing again." Napahinto ako.
"But I know that hindi ganon kadaling mag move on sa nangyari, but we promise that we will always by your side specially me." Naiiyak nanamn ako,wag kang magpa kilig bhiee!

"Hoy!hoy! Kick nyo na ako sa quadro nyu nanglalait kayo."sabi bigla ni Zephyr habang papunas punas ng mata nya at naka puot.

"Xyrine Vertix remove Zephyr Ace Maude" sabi rin ni Xy.Hayss ewan ko sa inyo.

"Tanga ako admin don kayung tatlo ereremove ko nangangaway kayo" kunwaring umiyak sya may pa tadyak pa gago talaga.

"I miss you" nabigla ako sa sinabi ng katabi ko, nang tignan ko sya namumula yung tinga nya.Naalala ko nanaman yung ginawa nya noong isang buwan.

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"K-kyro-

"Bakit maraming alikabok ang buhok mo?" Tanong nya bigla

Ako? Nganga! Tanga! Boba! Gaga! na gwapa HAHHAHAHA choss.Akala ko talaga hahalikan nyako! Ang amp kinuha lang pala yung dumi sa ulo ko.Hayss bukod sa asyumera ano pang talent ko?

So ayun nga nangyari nag expect lola nyo mga mhie.

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Hanggang sa nilibing na si Mom but I  can't see Dad. I don't know kung ano nang nangyari sa kanya but I pray na sana ayus lang sya.I can't help but to confuse.Is he sad too? Umiiyak rin ba sya kagaya ko? Is he longing for mom like I do? Did he love mom like I really do? Or he compelled to love mom because he has no choice? Naiiyak nanaman ako sa mga naiisip ko.

Haysss.Why this world is so unfair? Why of all people sakin nangyari to? Why mom? Why Dad? Why me? Lucky me! Pancit Cantoon! Haysss ayaw kunaaaa!!! Nakaka buwang.

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