I live, I die, I live again [Eren J.]

12: Realizations Aplenty

" A dried-up well could contain even a mindless Titan... probably! " Glasses shrugged, that crazed grin still etched on their face. Mikoto shuddered.

She hoped it was empty before they did, well, that.

There was no time to ponder on it, a flare being shot high in the sky to... nothing. Not a twitch. No flash or lightning, no great boom, and definitely no Titan-Eren emerging from the well with an earth-shaking roar.

That was fucking anti-climatic, Mikoto couldn't help but snort as Glasses pouted confused next to her and Captain Cavaret sighed tired on their other side.

" Did he not see the signal? " The squad leader hummed. The captain clicked his tongue.

" No, " he huffed as he made for the well. " His ability is just not that reliable. " Glasses and Mikoto followed suit.

" Hey, Eren! " The squad leader chimed. " We're calling it quits for now! Did something happen? "

Yeah, something happened alright, Mikoto flinched as she looked over into the well, an uttered " Holy fuck... " escaping her lips without permission at the sight of Eren's mangled hand and gaunt expression.

" Hange... " The green-eyed boy's voice was scarily empty. " I can't become a Titan... "

—

" So your self-inflicted wounds aren't healing either, huh? " Gingersnap hummed pensively as they wondered at the bloodied bandage wrapped around Eren's hand. Mikoto, from across him at the table two of the burlier members of the Spec-Ops Squad hauled out from the HQ, could just see the dark little rabbit hole Eren was going down in his head as he pushed around his lunch. Captain Cavaret definitely did noy make things better.

" If you can't transform into a Titan then our main goal of sealing Wall Maria is off the table... " Main goal? Meaning there's other objectives for the 54th expedition...? Mikoto buried that juicy little tidbit away as she refocused her attention on Eren, who looked more and more disheartened by the second.

" This is an order, " the dark-eyed man continued. " Make it happen. "

" Yes, sir... " Mikoto gnawed harshly on the inside of her cheek.

Eren was only eighteen, he was a boy— barely a man. And yet he had the weight of the whole world rested on his shoulders. She knew, she could just feel it, that, one day, all that weight would rob him of his smile.

Not if she could fucking help it.

" Don't let this get you down, Eren! " Gingersnap encouraged, patting the boy on the shoulder before flouncing off to where her captain had sat down for tea.

" Well, this just means you're more human than I thought... " Turniphead shrugged, finishing his ration bar in two clean bites.

Even with the encouragement from the squad, Mikoto could read Eren's emotions; splayed clearly across his face. Lips pressed together tightly and brows furrowed, he was somewhere caught between tacit relief and guilt. Relief that his 'squadmates' weren't all that disappointed in him for not being able to transform, but guilt that his inability could mean humanity wouldn't be able to take back the lands stolen from them by the Titans.

Seeing all the depreciating thoughts splashed across his face, Mikoto bumped his foot gently with her own and stuck out her tongue at him. Her 'dead' eyes combined with that was enough to elicit a little chuckle from him. She smirked, feeling rather pleased with herself for accomplishing what she set out to do.

Though, in her smugness, she didn't realize she'd knocked her teaspoon off of the table until Eren was reaching for it.

One moment, everything was fine.