weak ➸ camren

chapter 14 ➸ you've changed

Camila nodded softly. She watched as Lauren took a bite of the cracker and mimicked her, reaching into the container and grabbing one of the circular biscuits. She studied it for a few moments before taking a bite.

“What’d you do up there all day?” Lauren asked, nodding towards the roof with a small smile on her face. Camila was beginning to realize that Lauren was genuinely interested in her, and not just asking her questions to make polite conversation. It felt nice to be important to someone.

“Not much, really. I worked on a song,” Camila shrugged. She swallowed her second bite of the cracker and wiped the crumbs on the blanket. Her nose crinkled and she suddenly felt disgusted with herself. But she forced herself to take a deep breath, and she grabbed a grape, hoping it would go down easier than the cracker had.

“About what?” Lauren asked. She raised an eyebrow when Camila took a grape and did the same, throwing her head back and tossing it into her mouth. Camila giggled.

“Show off,” Camila joked, trying to avoid Lauren’s initial question.

“Am not,” Lauren teased. She grabbed another grape and popped it into her mouth. “But really, what are your songs about?”

Camila grew nervous and quickly tried to make up an excuse. “Uh, I just, love… and stuff.”

An unrecognizable expression flashed across Lauren’s face but she quickly composed herself. “Is it hard to write about that stuff? Considering we’re young and stuff, y’know? There’s not a lot of experience for us there.”

“It’s kinda easy for me,” Camila shrugged. “My mom always tells me I love too much, so…” she popped the grape into her mouth and tried to ignore the guilt she felt when she swallowed.

“I don’t love a lot of things,” Lauren laughed with a shrug. “I wish I was good at writing, I think it’d be cool to perform one of my own songs or something… to have a personal connection to it, I guess.”

“I’d be bad at performing my own songs in front of people… I don’t think I could, I’d be too nervous. Plus most of them are too… private,” Camila bit her lip and grabbed another grape.

“You could always perform one for me,” Lauren raised an eyebrow. “I mean, if you wanted to, it might be easier than performing for strangers.”

Camila shivered. It’d be even worse. “Maybe,” she bit her lip.

“No pressure, though,” Lauren shrugged.

Camila nodded and fiddled with her fingers aimlessly. She felt increasingly nervous for some reason. “Laur?”

“Yeah?” Lauren looked up, noticing the change in Camila’s voice.

“How long are we gonna do this?”

“Do what?”

Camila sighed and shook her head. “This. The house. We’re not going to be able to stay here forever,” she bit her lip. “I don’t know what you think is going to happen, but I just… I don’t know. I’m scared.”

Lauren set down her drink and tilted her head to the side slightly. Camila was showing emotion, and it was surprising her. “Scared of what?”

“I’m scared I’m not going to get better,” Camila half-whispered. She lowered her head and took a deep breath. She flinched when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Their eyes met for a second and Lauren gave her a soft smile.

“You will, Camila. You will,” she said slowly. The tone in her voice was firm, making even Camila slightly believe her. She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted when Lauren whipped her head around.