The Stick of Lies - South Park: The Stick of Truth (AU)

Chapter 1: Polaroid

It was completely black outside. The stars were shining brightly. It was completely quiet. It seemed like a perfect night to Kyle Broflovski, an elementary schooler at South Park Elementary who had just finished playing a game of pretend with his friends. He laid on his bed half-awake, still fantasizing about the roleplay and wondering what would happen tomorrow in the game.

If you're wondering what Kyle and his friends were playing, they were playing a pretend game inspired by The Game of Thrones. It's about two species, Humans and Elves, who fight over a stick named The Stick of Truth. Kyle was on the Elves' side, and he was the King of the Elves too. The stick can grant any type of power to the being who wields it. The owner could control time and space if they wanted to. Right now, one of his friends Eric Cartman owns the stick, and he is the Leader of the Humans.

Kyle finally decided he'd go to bed already, since it was getting pretty late and staying up all night would drain his energy.

But when Kyle went to bed, he felt weird.

He kept having nightmares about the stick and his friends. It was all so blurry and strange. He saw his friends being slaughtered. He saw himself crying next to his best friend Stan, who was dead, and then saw a strange shadowy figure heading towards him. Right when the figure reached him though, Kyle woke up panting restlessly.

He looked out his window and it was the morning. He grabbed his phone and checked the time and date. It was 10:07 AM on a Saturday. He got off his bed and got dressed, when suddenly he heard yelling and crying from outside. 

He ran to the front door to see what was going on, but all he saw was a note on his front porch. It read: "WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID" in capital letters with red marker. Kyle was extremely confused. He flipped the note over and it said "Meet us at Eric's house," in smaller letters this time, but still pretty threatening.

When Kyle arrived to Eric's house, he heard more yelling and screaming. It was coming from the house. He opened the door and met Eric's mom, who said that Eric was outside in the backyard playing with his friends. Kyle carefully opened the backdoor and was met with a horrible surprise.

All of the Humans and Elves were fighting each other. They were punching each other, kicking each other, insulting each other, etcetera. Kyle was frantically looking around, trying to find Eric and Stan, but they were nowhere to be found. Then he remembered the castle at the end of the backyard, and quickly entered hoping to find his friends in there.

Kyle was right. His friends Stan, Eric, Kenny, and Butters were all in the castle yelling at each other.

"It's true, I have proof right here. So just back off and accept your doom!" Eric exclaimed.

"No way! There's no way Kyle would do something like that! He isn't that stupid!" Stan yelled back.

"What the hell is going on here?!" Kyle interrupted, his face turning red hot and visiably confused.

Stan turned around. "Kyle! Thank goodness you're here!"