Step of Faith

Chapter XX: Needed you

I didn't see him anywhere and when I looked toward Dean he just nodded in the direction of the bathroom. I wasted no time walking over there and softly knocking on the door. I could hear him clearing his throat and heard a muffled 'go away'.

"It's me," I softly said against the door. I knew he didn't like anyone seeing him like this. I heard the lock click and slipped in immediately.

"I don't know what's happening with me-" I cut his ranting off and wrapped my arms around his torso.

"Nothing is happening with you. You just have to believe in yourself, okay?" I pulled back and grasped his face with my hands. I wiped the stray tear away from his eye.

"I'm sorry, I sometimes cry when I'm frustrated, I've done it since I was a child," he shook his head.

"Everyone cries, Theo. And everyone gets frustrated. But you can't forget that there is a reason you're the center and there is a reason you are the team captain. Don't forget that when you're on the ice," I ruffled his hair.

"Thank you," Theo leaned his forehead against mine, and for a while, we just stood in silence.

"Okay, go get 'em, pretty boy."

After our little pep talk in the bathroom, I could see Theo regain his composure on the ice. Though it wasn't much help because the rival team had come back with twice the strength.

During time outs I was barely holding my shit together. I could see the coach drawing frantically on the board. When they come out on the ice and stand in formation I realized what the coach decided to do.

They're taking Dean out from the gate to play as a sixth player. It's risky but if our team protects the puck and gets it into the other team's gate it will be worth it.

The guys hold their places, working on defense. It's the last minute and the score is still even. In the worst-case scenario of them losing it wouldn't really mean much because currently, it's random pick games, it just earns them points.

But when I see one of the guys on the opposing team trip on Theo's skate I fail to suppress a groan. The referee is a douchebag so, of course, he gives him a penalty. He goes to sit in the penalty box and I know he's mad.

The game ends with a score of 2:1 along with the opposing team celebrating their victory. And ours sulking in the corners. The ice gets cleaned and I have to go on. I can't spot any of the team in the stands except Jacobs and I see him give me a thumbs up.

Once again I breathe in and out before the music starts. I pray to my brother and I pray to myself. And I turn my brain off, no distractions anywhere in sight.

The music starts and the smile on my face comes up on my lips. I lift my leg and glide on the smooth ice. I let the cool air graze my legs with a whisper of a touch as I ready myself for a jump.

I'm in the air and I know something is wrong. I land the jump but I feel the pain spark. I felt my knee shift. Fuck. My knee. I feel the bones grazing each other. I feel the muscle stretching in unnatural ways.

Tears well up in my eyes, I can feel the tips of my fingers getting warm. My heart starts to race and I bite back a groan at the pain. I feel like someone has set my knee on fire, I bite the tip of my tongue and keep skating.

Two more jumps and it's over. I need to be perfect. As I skate past the boards I steal a glance at the stands and see that the guys are sitting there. Everyone except the person who would give me the strength to keep going. Everyone except Theo.

I jump again and I feel the pain sharper this time. The smile on my face is laced with pure agony and I'm aware that it most likely doesn't look flattering. I blow out a breath through my mouth and let my arms flow freely to mimic my calmness.

The last jump is coming up and my heart skips a beat. For the first time in my life, I'm truly scared. Scared beyond repair. I suck in a breath I'm sure the whole arena heard and jump.

My time in the air feels like an eternity. It feels like years before I land. And the landing is the worst part. This time I actually feel my muscles throb with the pain. I can feel it pulsating and I can no longer smile.

Tears are rolling down my cheeks when I finish. I take my bowing stance and my leg wobbles. I bow. I don't even turn back to smile. I skate to the side of the rink.

A sob wracks my body. I collapse into West's arms.

"What's wrong, Blair? You were great," He tries to console me.

"My knee," my face contorts in pain as he lifts me off the ice.

"Blair, what happened? I saw your face drop from the sidelines," Catherine comes up to me and her eyes immediately drop to my hand that's clutching my knee, her hand goes up to her mouth.

"You crazy child. I told you to tell us if your doctor says it's not healed," Carl scolds me with a pained expression.

My hearing is going in and out. I don't even register Dean untying my skates, JJ pulling off my gloves, or Levi and West picking me up to place me on the medics bed. I don't register a familiar voice breaking through the crowd.

"Blair," Theo's rushed voice comes up to me and he clutches my face.

"Where were you?" I cry into his hands, "I needed you. A-and you weren't h-here."

"I'm sorry, princess. I'm so sorry."

A/N: Long time no see, my lovelies. It's been a while but I'm back.

In terms of being better mentally, I'm not sure if I can answer this question. But I'm doing my best. I am thankful for each and every one of you that checked on me. And thankful for everyone who was patient with me.

In regards to the people who I lost as followers, I contemplated long and hard what I did wrong. Then I realized that I'm not going to chase people who don't have plain human decency. I have respect for myself and if you can't respect that then good riddance.

Moving on, how is everyone doing? And how did we like today's chapter? 

Kisses and hugs, Helena <3