The Cabinet Under the Stairs

Going Out

"I'm going out tonight," Mom said as she walked into the kitchen. I'd never seen her in a skirt so short with a top cut so low. Her hair was curly and she reeked of one of her more pricey perfumes. Luckily for her, it was a scent that lingers too long so she wouldn't suffocate her date. "Is that okay?"

I had pulled out some things and was about to cook us dinner. "Sure. You don't really have to ask me, do you?"

"Well, I just wanted you to know." She started putting on her favorite hoop earrings. "I hate leaving you alone. Robert isn't coming home this weekend. I'm sure he's got some party he wants to attend. He makes friends so easily, you know. We've been here for a while, but you still don't seem to have any friends."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "This again? I have friends."

"You never go out or do anything."

"I don't want to go out or do anything and I'm fine on my own."

We exchanged glances.

"I just don't want you to end up alone," she said. "You're young. You should be the one to go out with your friends and make me worry. You should have some boy around you that I hate and don't trust just so you can annoy me with him."

"Woah! Okay, Mom. First, life isn't some movie or show or wherever you got that stream of nonsense. Second, I don't like to go out. I don't like being around a lot of people. That doesn't make me weird or an outcast or whatever, it just means I don't like to go out. I'm very discerning about the kinds of people I keep around me." 

"Okay, calm down, Elise."

I could feel my head about to explode.

"I get it, you don't like people for whatever reason, but what about boys? Are you interested in anyone? Girls? Boys preferred but whatever you like."

I didn't even know how to respond. I stood there, mouth agape, with a strong desire to scream while she looked at me expectantly. Why did it matter so much to her? I could ask, but I'm sure I'd get all the same sentences that she just said reworded in such a way to make me even more angry. 

I took in an audible breath through my nose. "When are you leaving?" I asked, tossing all the ingredients back in the fridge.

"I should stay. You're upset that I'm leaving."

"I'd be more upset if you stayed. I need a bit of separation from you." The fridge door shut a little harder than I expected.

I glanced at her and started to feel bad. Her eyes revealed so much sadness. I loved her so much, I just wish she understood that we were completely different people and I was never going to be the teen she wanted me to be.

I took in a deep breath. "I'm fine, Mom. Really. Have fun."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Yes."

She smiled and gave me a big hug. "I won't be out too late."

"Stay out as long as you want."

"Make sure to check all the doors and windows."

"It'll be a regular fortress."

She smiled, but her eyes still revealed sadness as she grabbed her keys and purse and walked out the door.

Honestly, I was just glad to be alone, especially from her nagging about love, life, and friendship. She just didn't understand how much I liked being alone with Jack and my own thoughts. As long as Jack was with me, I knew I would always be okay. Sometimes, dealing with Mom was exhausting, so I went to bed early.