COMRADES • Eren Jaeger

CHAPTER 42: Alliance

"You don't. That's up to Eren," you said. In the distance, Titans roared. "He can control our bodies, take us anywhere. From here, and there."

"There?" Jean repeated.

"The Paths realm," you said. "Like I said, there's nothing we can do anymore."

"Now hold on!" he exclaimed. "You can't just barge in here and suddenly claim you're with us!"

You fixed the vertical maneuvering equipment on your waist and unsheathed your blades, feeling too tired to fight as lightning flashed the streets. Those who had consumed the deadly wine transformed. You were certain that by now, Commander Pyxis was as good as dead. But there was no choice. You were responsible for the destruction around you and for what was yet to come, and your heart felt heavier than it had ever been.

"Come on," you said, not waiting for them as you jumped off the roof and swung. "We'll clean the Titans up."

You swung through the air to bring your swords down and slice through the napes of the necks of the Titans surrounding Shiganshina District. When all was cleaned up and safe, you returned to the military headquarters, where to your disdain, the Jaegerists had been waiting. When they saw you, they began to cheer.

Floch took your hand and raised it up with his, hollering about victory and the success of Eren's plan to the crowd. But you could not feel their joy. Instead, your eyes found Jean and Mikasa, watching you with distraught eyes, asking, What do we do now?

You excused yourself from Floch. The Jaegerists wanted you to keep up morale, deliver a speech about how you would help Eren reform the world. You made excuses to leave. You said you were tired, which wasn't really a lie. You sank in the corner while people hurried to collect themselves around you. Surely by now, they thought that the fighting was over, peace had finally been restored to Paradis because Eren was off to finish the rest of the world.

You reeled in silence. Just like that, there was no reason to fight. All should be well. You could live happily ever after now because surely eradicating the rest of humanity pointed to your inner peace. There were no more enemies you had to pick a fight with. You could lower your sword at last.

You searched for the victory or the pride that once burned inside you. But it was dead, reduced to nothing but ash that withered away at a single touch. You would live, as innocent men, women, and children would get trampled in the world beyond.

"That's no way a soldier should be acting." You lifted your head to see Daphne, her clothes torn and her skin bruised, though her face had been wiped clean. "Aren't you happy?"

"I'm thrilled about failing," you said. "I can stop pretending to be an ass."

"That girl who shot off your arm — Gabi, was that her name? She came to us. Armin brought her along with them to save the kid who inherited the Jaw Titan from getting eaten by Connie Springer's mother."

"What do you want me to do about that?"

The words came out harsher than you meant. Your old friend just dropped her hands to the side.

"Connie's about to murder a child. I thought you would care more."

"Well, sorry for disappointing you," you said blankly. Then you added, "And your brother. You said he wouldn't have wanted this."

"It's not your fault. What could you have done against Eren?"

What could I have done to change the present? You searched for the answer but couldn't find the right words to say.

"Where are you headed after this?" you asked, ignoring her question.

"Floch is stationing me at the port," she answered. "He put the Azumabito engineers under house arrest. Says we can't have any diplomats running around the island."