Above Us (OMEGAVERSE)

Toxic

Tzuyu wakes up and she wears her clothes, Irene hold her hand,

"So after you had sex with her, you're just gonna leave?" This is the first time i heard Irene's voice like this. I am so scared of her, will she leave me after this?

I'm already losing my Friends and i'm gonna lose Irene? No! Please!

"What? What are you talking about? She asked for my help." Tzuyu said.

I wear my clothes, "Irene, let her go." I said.

"This is fine with you?" She asked.

"I haven't told you this, i'm Omega." I said while i'm silently crying.

Irene suddenly stares into my eyes for so long—this is the first time this happened and she suddenly cried,

"You could've asked for my help because i can help you." She said.

This is crazy right? She don't want me to touch her, she only wants a holding hands when it comes to our skinship, she don't want me to text her, or call her, she hates me when i'm talking to her while she's studying.

And now, she has the audacity to say that i could've called her if i need help.

Am i really in a healthy relationship? Or is it just because we're not fighting that's why i considered it as healthy.

I am not in the mood to say anything, i am not it the mood to please anyone. I am already broken inside about the things that is happening and Irene never asked me about what's going on, she keeps on saying STUDY! STUDY! STUDY! STUDY!

I know that is important, i know our goal is to graduate at the same time but am i even part of her goal? Yes, it's me who's courting her, pushing myself on her but why?

Everything is my fault but i'm in the desperation of wanting to get rid of this feeling, i don't think it is my fault why Lisa is hurting herself, why Yeji got kidnapped, why Ryujin can't sleep, and this is not my fault.

I'M DONE BEING KIND! I'M DONE BEING THE SEULGI WHO HAS A PERFECT PERSONALITY! I AM MESS WHEN EVERYONE I VALUED ARE A MESS TOO!

I pushed Irene away, "What help can you give?" I asked.

"I'm an alpha, Kang Seulgi." She said.

"So? If you're an alpha and i need help, what are the chances that you're going to answer my call while you're studying and i'm just gonna bother you, right? That is what your telling me whenever i'm calling you." I need to say it all.

I dropped the porridge that she brought, "Irene, stop looking down on me. I'm done with everything. I know you're always looking down on me and i know after this, you're gonna walk away just because of this mistake." I said.

I opened the door, "GET OUT NOW! I AM NOT IN THE MOOD TO PLEASE ANYONE OF YOU TO STAY! IF YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE ME AND HURT ME THEN LEAVE! I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO BE HERE WITH ME BECAUSE I AM ALL FINE ON MY OWN!"

Funny how i'm screaming those words while i'm crying.

I'm not fine at all.

IRENE

I thought she's also an alpha because she's always with Lisa, i thought it's awkward if both of us ended up having dick to dick fight. I don't know a thing about her, i don't know a thing because i'm always focusing on myself and my future.

Seulgi was right.

It's unfair for her that i have a normal Family while she has a messed up Family and yet she's the one who keeps on asking me how am i and she keeps on making sure i was doing fine. I keep on believing the fact that she will always understand me but i never dared to understand her.

When we're together, we're just acting like a Friends because i didn't even tried to hold her hand, hug her, or any skinship. I'm always making her adjust for me because i know she's that kind of person.

I took advantage to her kindness.

I knew Seulgi was too much for me, she's too perfect for me while i'm just a result of someone who wants to be perfect like her.

I'm too stupid for making her feel like this.

Seulgi shut the door. I want to be mad at her but whatever she's saying makes sense.

Why did i ever keep her?

She's the only one who's making me feel happy and she's the only who can make me smile when i'm having a hard time but all of these reactions, i never dared to show it on her.

"Seulgi? Can we talk?" I asked.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO BE HERE! I SPENT MY FOUR YEARS FOR MAKING YOU FEEL IMPORTANT WHILE I'M THE ONE WHO'S ALSO WANTING TO FEEL THAT WAY BUT YOU NEVER DID IT!" She was mad, i wish i knew the reasons why.

"Talk to me, Seul—" She opened the door and the pain in her eyes, the sadness in her tears, she's catching her breath then she said something to me that made my cold heart burned because of pain.

"Four years of waiting to nothing. I wish i never met you." She said.

I walked out of her house and suddenly, i remembered all of the times where i'm sad but then she will make something just to make me smile, even a little smile on my face—she's already happy.

How come her happiness is also her pain? And it was me who's making her feel that way.

Realizing that i did something wrong when she's already giving up. I'm too stupid.

Seulgi suddenly sent me a message,

"Let's be strangers now."

I'm too toxic for her.