So Close

Prologue

Dedicated to @honeybae for the beautiful cover ♥ Read her stories! A Drop in the Ocean and Seven Churches :)

(Note: This story will be told in the alternating POVs of Juami and Cheska)

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                Sometimes people forget to think about where to draw the line between fighting for something and giving up.

                This happened to me when my girlfriend Alexa broke the news to me about her migrating to the US.

                I was devastated, of course. We’ve been together for three years. I’ve only had one short-lived relationship before I met Alexa. Everything about us was perfect. She was all I could ever ask for in a girl. It was young love at its best. And I guess you never really know if something’s real until you spend your time finding out for yourself.

                “Juami,” She said. She’s been so cold to me in the past week. Maybe I should have taken the hint then. Or maybe I already knew something was wrong but I was only denying it because I was afraid of the consequences. But when I think about that moment under the tree in their backyard as she stared at me intently with those dark eyes, maybe, just maybe, I should have prepared myself a little more and somehow admitted the truth to myself that things were never going to work out between us instead of being stubborn and convincing myself that what we had was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

                “We’re leaving for the States in a week.” That was all she said. No apologies or explanations as to why it took her this long to tell me or why she was only giving me a week to say goodbye. It was then I knew that she never really loved me enough.

                “Okay.” I remembered saying bitterly. But again I was blinded by what I thought was love for her. Instead of preparing myself for what I knew was going to be a permanent goodbye, I held on to what we had. I never stopped loving her and caring for her until she hugged me one last time, planted a soft, chaste kiss on my lips as tears streamed down both our cheeks, and said goodbye to me at the airport.

                It’s safe to say that what she did broke me.

                Yes, I can say it freely now since I know I’ve moved on from that mess.

                I wasn’t myself for weeks. Months.

                Nothing seemed right to me anymore. My judgment was clouded by grief and longing. Every girl looked wrong in my eyes. I thought I knew what pain and loss meant. I thought Alexa was where my life began and ended.

                Don’t laugh. I was young. It’s not like anyone my age knew better.

                Everything that brought so much clarity to me when Alexa was still here was now out of focus.

                But that soon changed when I met her.

                I will never forget the day I met Cheska.

                It was the first time a girl had ever thrown something at my face. I couldn’t say I liked the experience but it was something that I knew I will always remember.

                I knew I was better looking than the majority of boys my age. At least that’s what I think. Anyway, that’s another story.

                So imagine my surprise when I meet this crazy beautiful girl who makes me forget about Alexa and the pain even for just a moment. Seeing her face was a breath of fresh air. Now I knew what the guys were going on about when we were in the van. We were going to support Alvin’s little sister at their booth during their school fair and the immediate topic of conversation was of course about the girls we were going to meet.

                Alvin was going on about his sister’s friends. None of their names bore any significance to me. I just went along with their plan to get them off my back. They’ve been so insistent on trying to fix me these past few days that I finally obliged even though I knew nothing will ever help me.

                Alexa was still gone.

                But then out of nowhere, this girl comes out from behind the booth carrying a tray of pies and a basket of water balloons looking disinterested at our group.

                This was already a surprise to me since I know most teenage girls would’ve loved the attention of this many good looking guys.

                I remember Kiefer nudging my shoulder with his and saying, “I can see what Alvin’s going on about.” He was looking at Cheska.

                She’s beautiful. This I have to admit. Even with me grieving over the absence of my ex-girlfriend, I couldn’t deny that something about Cheska struck me that day.

                And then I had to open my big mouth and said something about girls and how they were all the same. I didn’t know she heard me. Seconds later, with my face and shoes covered in icing, my earlier statement about girls was forgotten.

                Alexa, who I think about all the time, was forgotten.

                She was forgotten.

                And in the momentary absence of her name inside my head and in my heart, a new name took Alexa’s place.

                And it was Cheska’s name.

                Cheska who stared at me with angry eyes. Cheska who never apologized to me about that incident. Cheska whose love for sports might have equaled mine. And Cheska who was beautiful and funny and smart.

                That day, I knew the healing started. I was slowly moving on. The same night after the pie incident, I couldn’t get her out of my head.

                And maybe, I thought to myself, she was supposed to be there. Maybe I was supposed to think about her.

                And I did that for the longest time.

                That day I knew, I would fall for this girl. I would fall hard.

                And so as my mind and heart constantly reminded me about Alexa’s absence. I couldn’t ignore Cheska’s sudden appearance in my life.

                That day, I had to choose.

                And I chose Cheska.