weak ➸ camren

chapter 13 ➸ it didn't mean anything

Hell, she had told Lauren it was okay. She said she would like it. Camila took a deep breath and sat on the steps of their deck, burying her face in her hands. Now everything would be ruined.

Lauren, meanwhile, stood frozen in the bedroom after Camila dashed away. That hadn’t gone as planned. She’d never exactly had a plan in the first place, but… she didn’t expect Camila to say yes, and then run away.

Had she done something? Lauren checked her breath, deciding that that wasn’t what had scared Camila off. She sighed and sat down on the bed, pressing her hands to her forehead and making herself take a few deep breaths to calm down.

Camila had apologized. Lauren didn’t understand that. Why would Camila bother apologizing for something Lauren had asked? Now she knew Camila definitely didn’t have feelings for her.

Shit.

Lauren had probably scared her off, who knows where she was. Her protective instinct took over and she hopped to her feet, nearly falling down the stairs from running so fast.

“Camila?” she called, turning the corner and anxiously searching the kitchen. No sight of her.

“Camila?!” she yelled, louder this time. She heard footsteps and jumped when the back door slid open.

“What? What’s wrong?” Camila asked, worried. She shoved her hands in her pockets nervously, too scared to make eye contact.

“Nothing… I… I just thought you ran away or something,” Lauren bit her lip.

“Oh. Well I didn’t….” Camila said softly. The tension was awkward between them. Camila’s heart was still racing from just how close they’d been to actually kissing. “I’m gonna go lay down,” she quickly said, turning to walk upstairs.

“Wait, Camila,” Lauren grabbed Camila’s wrist to stop her. Camila bit her lip, she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop herself if Lauren tried to kiss her again. Taking a deep breath, she looked back at Lauren.

“We don’t… I’m sorry about that… I just, wasn’t thinking… it didn’t mean anything,” Lauren drew her hand back and ran it through her hair, cupping the back of her neck and standing there shyly. “Can we just… pretend that never happened…?”

Camila swallowed hard. Those words hurt more than they should’ve.

“Y-yeah, course,” she finally managed to speak. “I’m gonna… bed.”

“You’re gonna bed?”

“G-going to bed,” Camila shook her head quickly, growing flustered.

Lauren just laughed nervously and watched as Camila turned to disappear upstairs, but turned back to grab Elvis’ crate, before scurrying out of her sight.

As soon as she heard the bedroom door shut, Lauren turned around and punched the wall, instantly regretting it when pain shot up her arm. She ignored it, sliding down against the wall and dropping her head into her hands.  

She’d literally just lied straight to Camila’s face.

Of course it meant something. Of course she wanted to kiss Camila. And of course, she wasn’t going to be able to forget it, no matter how hard she tried. It was impossible to forget how mesmerizing the smaller girl’s brown eyes were up close.

She ended up falling asleep like that, on the kitchen floor, curled up in her hoodie. Lauren was too scared to go upstairs and face Camila, anyway. She didn’t want to say something she’d regret later. But she already had.

She didn’t know what time it was when she woke up, all she knew was that the sun was just starting to rise. The sky was a beautiful shade of orange, with specks of pink here and there.