CARMEN THINKING - THE SOUND INSIDE A SEASHELL PART 1

HYPNAGOGIA

December 1, 2014

I could live a thousand years

and

I couldn't put this passion into words

no senescence

not for our hearts

for even when we don't fit

we fit

even when he leaves me broken

I am whole

despite attempts to find happiness elsewhere

there is nothing better then the place we create in each others arms

every word

every touch

subliminal

I walk into your arms as I walk away

how we feel is too big for some minds to comprehend

its everything

and it's nothing

because it's so incredibly overwhelming and yet so simple and plain

Adore Affection Amore Amour Cherish Enchant Idolize Long for Magic Passion Rapture Spark True love Worship Yearning

there are not enough words to express it

and no words expresses it quite right

A SNEAK PREVIEW TO THE TRUTH ABOUT WHATEVER BY CARMEN ANGEL MC KAY (NB: CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT)

December 9, 2014

shame and joy as they take each other in

pleasure and pain as they are finally alone

it is limited and endless

it wasn't supposed to happen and yet here they are

she looked into his eyes

it gets too much for him

and he shuts his eyes

and he continues to move

and she continues to move

as her arms curl around him

as his back strain

and her arms curl tighter

how strange that her body would still be so familiar

he took a deep breath

she knew what he was doing

he was breathing her in

her perfume haunted him

still

after

all

this

time

he is avoiding her lips

her kissing is his undoing

he doesn't know why but it just is

and today is not about that

he is not sure what it's about

but it's definitely

not

about

that

he slides his fingers in between hers

he rests his nose against hers

there are tears

she doesn't know whose tears she tastes

his

or

hers

he shifts

and she feels him

he opens his eyes

to check

she smiles

as if he needs to check

she kisses his bottom lip

not once

not twice

three times

and pulls at it

he laughs

it sounds like home

and the thought makes her so sad

she knows that this day shouldn't have happened

she knows that her thoughts shouldn't leave this room

she pressed her face into his chest

he doesn't ask what's wrong

he knows her well enough

he doesn't want to break the spell

it's beautiful

it's glorious

it's wrong

it's wrong

it's wrong

but sometimes you love someone so deeply, for so long that they leave traces of themselves behind your eyes and in the back of your mind and regardless how much you move on or how happy you are, you can never ever forget them...

you can never truthfully say they are no longer in your heart...

SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS A GOOD GIRL AND THEN SHE WENT TO COLLEGE...

December 30, 2014

she begged him even as she knew she would hurt him

"don't play with me" she said

he smiled and returned her kiss

they had waited long for this kiss

since the moment they first laid eyes on each other

until this moment on this stairs

the stairs that still crops up in her dreams after all these years

he let her kiss him

he wouldn't initiate it

he needed her to want him as much as he wanted her

and she did

more than she ever did admit

and she kissed him that day

with all that she had

on those stairs

in a public place

can you believe it

how unlike her

but this experience changed her

and the course of her life

she didn't know it then

all she knew in that moment was that it felt so good

and it was so wrong

she was busy breaking the sweetest heart

a heart that trusted her when he really shouldn't have

and there she stood

a 19 year old heartbreaking tsunami

she wasn't supposed to be in this mans arms

she wasn't supposed to be kissing his lips

she wasn't supposed to be falling in love

but she was

and

her ugliest admission of all

she knew that person who would walk away with the least hurt

was her...