Bound by Marriage ✔NamJin

Chapter 10: We Make War That We May Live In Peace

AN: Well, while prev chapter was my favorite, this one has the best opening, if you ask me. Those of you waiting for more romance, here comes some! Please enjoy!

Jin awoke the next day feeling different. Not quite able to call it 'refreshed' or 'calmed', he pondered the emotion in bed for a few minutes. Then it hit him... Namjoon wasn't there.

No matter how late he came home, Namjoon was always there beside him when he woke up. He smiled, begrudgingly, affectionately, thinking that laziness had its upsides. Being able to turn over and see him lying there, a rare moment when he didn't look annoyed before his eyebrows knotted again and a muttered 'Troublesome' passed his lips...That was just one thing that Jin had grown fond of. The empty space beside him filled his body with a name for the feeling.

Regret.

He had never been the sort of person to look back on his mistakes and feel guilt over them. Jin saw every mistake as a warning, each misstep as a sign. Even when the bet he had made with Hobi cost him years' worth of hair and quite a bit of anger from his mother, he had only brushed it off. He could not go back and stop himself from anything and saw no reason to wish it so.

Yet looking at the bed made him wish he could somehow rewind the clock. Have stayed home last night, just so he could wake up to have Namjoon beside him.

Jin stumbled out of bed and walked to his wardrobe. There were still some of his clothes inside, and he pulled out dark purple pants and a very pale purple turtleneck to wear on top of it. Surprised to find these clothes, Jin searched through some more drawers. He had left more clothes than he had thought.

For whatever reason, this cheered him up. He went to take a bath, being as quiet as possible. He didn't want to wake his parents. He had gone right to bed the night before with no explanation for his behavior. But he knew what would come.

Coddling.

It was his only hostile thought about his parents. That they treated him too delicately. Whenever something bad happened they sheltered him. They endlessly comforted him. Which was certainly a good thing, Jin had thought. But maybe, had they been sterner, he would not be so affected by Namjoon's dismissal. He had not been prepared. And so he would avoid his parents this morning. Because he knew that if asked it would all come out, even the coddling part. And that wouldn't do.

Jin was dressed and out the door shortly. It was rather early, but there were plenty of people around the town. Somehow he found himself anxiously anticipating Namjoon and mumbles of 'Troublesome' in his sleep. He smiled at the thought as he entered the house, closing the door gently behind him. Jin tiptoed to their shared room, smile growing, and opened the door.

The smile faded. Namjoon was not asleep. Which was impossible at this time of the morning, wasn't it? But Jin didn't dwell on that thought. Mainly because he looked a mess. He guessed that Namjoon had not even slept that entire night-that he had just sat there on the edge of the bed, leaned over on his elbows, and staring straight ahead. He couldn't get his mouth to work from surprise.

Namjoon's eyes met his, and he somehow pulled himself up to stand sluggishly. "Jin, where have you been?" he sighed the question with a breath he had seemed to be held for as long as he'd been sitting there.

"N-Namjoon-ah, I-I-I..." Jin stopped, trying to gather himself. "I slept at my parents'." he finally choked out. "What are you doing awake at this hour?"

He ignored the question. "Oh, okay." He seemed to collapse on the inside.

"What's wrong?" Jin asked, hoping he'd answer this time. He wanted to reach out and pat his face like his father did when he was upset, but didn't know whether he'd want him to touch him.

He massaged his temples. "I'm sorry. I've been a real ass lately." Jin only stared at him. He sat back down on the bed, then swung his feet over and leaned back onto the pillows, arms behind his head. "I got jealous without really understanding and worked myself up over it."

Jin thought he could break at any moment. He took a tentative step forward. "Jealous? What do you mean?"

He scooted down and patted the bed next to him. He slid into the space he had occupied and immediately blushed. He had missed sitting with him in bed in the morning. How their bodies would warm each other's as they discussed something trivial like that morning's breakfast. But this was not something trivial.

"You and Hoseok wanted to see the Yoongi so badly and I felt...I hated that you probably wished he was your husband instead of me. But that I was still your husband, whether you liked it or not. So I tried to avoid you." He looked down. "At first I thought it was so you didn't have to deal with having a husband you didn't want, but then I realized it was because I was so jealous of Yoongi that I couldn't stand to look at you."

Jin squeaked a little at this point, from trying to hold his breath. "But...! Hoseok-"

Namjoon smirked. Jin was reminded of the look he gave him their first meeting, when he handed him the ring, of the irony he hadn't quite recognized. "Hoseok is with him. My friend told me last night and I rushed right home to talk to you. He said you and every other person in the class were obsessed with Yoongi." He paused. "But...NOT necessarily in LOVE with him."

"Are you...?" Jin choked out a question. He wasn't sure though, what he was asking, only that it was important.

Namjoon shrugged in response to his meaningless words. "I wanted to give you a chance. Let you think for yourself and decide if you care enough about him to regret marrying me. I can't make up your mind FOR you and then act on my opinions. It's not fair to you. I wanted to let you decide if you were regretful or just tell me that I was fabricating something out of nothing..."

Jin pulled his knees up to his chest. "Namjoon, I regret nothing but that I wasn't here waiting for you so this would be over sooner..." A tear fell down his face. "I regret nothing! Yoongi is nothing! Don't ever think otherwise!" He wiped another tear away. "YOU are my husband, not Yoongi. YOU are the one I missed this morning and all of this past week, not him. That is what is true."

Then he gathered all the nerve in his body and lifted his hand to Namjoon's face, patting him in the same affectionate manner that his father tended to have. It always made him feel at least a little better when he would do so. But Namjoon let out a long, shuddering sigh, closing his eyes. He reached up and put his hand over Jin's on his face. Jin leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead, to reassure him.

When he opened his eyes he could see how relieved and comforted Namjoon was, and the smile that had originally graced his face returned. "Hey, I didn't know you had an inferiority complex, Namjoon-ah," he said, albeit a little shakily, but accompanied it with a small laugh.

Namjoon turned red, surprising him. "Sh-shut up." He muttered in response to another laugh. "Let's go to sleep."

And they did just that.