Thank You

Forever

The loud thud echoing in the room is nothing else but my heartbeat. Our heartbeats. Synched, growing ever faster and louder as we stare into each other's eyes, forest green drowning in icy blue for longer than either of us could recall. The world is silent again, this time blurring everything that isn't her. Her perfect face, perfect hands, perfect eyes, perfect lips. Nothing but her enters the bubble my mind has created, and alas, peace falls upon us, making disappear the dark thoughts that my brain usually is made of. Nothing can touch us, nothing can brush us or walk into our own small universe, one we have only just designed. It's a quiet world – the one I dreamed of – but the sound of our hearts longing for one another is more than soothing, however heavy and loud it is. It is the beautiful melody of this ineffable feeling we are both afraid to put a name on, but oh ! how glorious it is.

For far too long, I have been terrified of my own feelings, and if I still am, not of the one I have for her, for my gorgeous Cate. In this very moment, losing myself into her eyes, I need no proof of the mutuality of said feeling. It is written all over her face, painted with the most beautiful colors I have ever seen in my short life. The warmth emanating from her suddenly makes sense, and nothing feels more comfortable. I would confide into it until being burnt to the bone, full of every wonderful thing she could ever give to me. No words need to be spoken when our gazes meeting one another means so much already.

Her fingers have left my chest, but she still inhabits my heart, a weight so light yet so big. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Not a single thing. How did that happen ? I could not tell, but a single exchange of stares was enough to set us on fire. Her hand now brushes the side of my face, cupping it with such inherent softness. Her slender fingers blindly discover every inch of skin, caressing my features, igniting my insides. Her every movement have a sole aim, but we both know how long we want this moment to last, and the hunger that we cannot repress is getting us hotter by the second.

Our hearts beat so fast now they could burst any second. I can feel her breath washing away every last bit of what the world has done to me, a healing wind coming from the purest source. That smile she has painted on her mouth is everything I could ever ask for, everything I ever asked for. Comfort, warmth, love. Love. Both of her hands lay on each side of my face. She looks so still but appears closer every second that passes. One of her hands flies to my chin, her thumb brushing against my bottom lip. She's only about an inch away, and as eager as I am to close the distance between us, I wait. I would wait forever for her. But I don't have to wait forever.

She tastes like sugar and cinnamon, a hint of rose hidden behind the traces left by the hot chocolate. A more exquisite savor doesn't exist. Every other thought is kicked back to the back of my mind, and everything I can think about is the taste of her lips on mine. A stolen kiss ? no. It is eager but not sexual. Full of desire, but not the kind most would expect. Neither of us is thinking of nothing more than the present, this very moment, in which both of us are finding what we had been longing for for much more time than we had admitted to ourselves. Nothing like a first kiss despite the looks of it. It already is filled with that feeling. Love. It is love. It bears the experience of a kiss between two people having already shared a lifetime together. Fragilized by a much more complicated feeling but strengthened by time and trust. It is beautiful, blinding, and cheerful. A happy memory to be saved forever.

I could cry from the happiness such a simple act triggers in me. I could die. I wasn't wrong to trust in this feeling. Nothing could have healed me in the way that she just did. In the way that she does in her every actions. The pain I thought would pierce me when I would find someone to love as dearly – or more dearly – than Romeo is nothing like I imagined it. She eases every suffering, and it doesn't feel so bad after all. I know for a fact she is the only one I could ever love that way without being so drowned in guilt. That kind of love is healing.

It feels like forever ago that our lips crashed together, colliding, but forever is what we wish for, nothing shorter. All the time in the world is not enough. When the Earth is nothing but bits and pieces, our bodies will still be intertwined, our souls dancing together, standing close, despite all the chaos, all the noise. Forever. Our lips sealed. Forever. Our hearts linked. Forever.

"Cate ?"

She parts from me all too quickly, and even though hiding is what she's best at, I can read the fear in her eyes as her face backs away just enough for me to see her clearly again. In a flash, she snatches her empty mug from the table and puts it between my hands. I have to catch it before it falls and shatters on the ground. She's erratic, seizing my arm without second thought, leading me to a cupboard built in the wall and simply hid by an old rug used as a curtain. She pushes me inside of it, the sweetness gone in an instant, and if the contrast between these two moments hadn't been so huge and confusing, I could have teared up again.

"Catherine ?"

The voice outside the room grows louder, closer, and the panic in Cate's eyes shines even brighter than her love. She puts a finger to her lip, her hand shaking uncontrollably, her bottom lip trembling. I can see the smile she is trying to put on behind her state of terror without truly succeeding. The look in her eyes tells me everything I cannot do in this moment, and something in my facial expression tells her I understood. With last swift movement, she closes her eyes, her lids pressed strongly together, and makes both of our foreheads meet for half a second before leaving the premises to run to the threatening voice coming from the cold house even she cannot call home.

I am left in the dark, in the smallest space, alone. Far from the warmth and thelove that surrounded me just a minute ago. Forever can be briefer than we believed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i'm sorry i haven't updated much, but life's been all over the place, and i finished my other story, i mean, no apology but you finally have an update. i do apologize for the mess i'm about to add to this already messy fanfiction. don't hate me, i think i have specified already how i respect cate and andrew's marriage, this is a fictional story and a fictional reality.