I live, I die, I live again [Eren J.]

6: That Day Humanity received a Grim Reminder

" It's happening again, " Mikasa breathed so lowly Mikoto barely heard her.

The girl's eyes looked so hazy, so unimaginably lost and so un-like Mikasa that a tendril of dread bloomed in Mikoto's stomach. Immediately, the redhead stomped it down and began to compartmentalize.

There was no room for irrational emotions during war.

—

Mikoto watched the shaky-looking bearded Section Leader brief the troops, including the 104th, on their marching orders with a dubious expression. Something about the blond man with the severe expression screamed 'wimp' to her.

Considering the nature of the situation, she would have expected Commander of the Garrison— and the most powerful military man this side of Sina— to have shown his face to bolster morale. Which begged the question—

Where the fuck is Commander Bald Cap?

Perhaps if he had been the one to brief the troops, the level of hysteria would slightly lower... but she supposed, eyeing the ash-brown-haired boy a few paces from her lose his mind, that was a pipe dream.

" Why does it have to be today?! " Jean lamented, damn nearing pulling out his hair, clutching the sides of his head too tightly. " I'm supposed to go to the interior tomorrow! " Mikoto snapped a few times in front of his face.

" Get your shit together, Horseface— " she barked "— you can bitch about the shitty timing after we survive today. Get a move on! "

" Yes, ma'am! " Jean had immediately snapped to attention; back straight, chin raised and hands at his sides.

Mikoto's voice had been hard and unsympathetic but altogether wholly necessary for maintaining Jean's fragile mental state. After using that specific tone for almost three years as his Squad Leader, she'd conditioned him— and the others in it— to stop and listen when she used it. It was a tone that meant they had shit to do. It was a tone that meant shelve the bullshit for another time and work.

Unfortunately, even with how well she'd trained her squad, the stress of danger coupled with the boy that most frustrated Jean was enough to snap him out of the state she'd conditioned him into.

Shoulder ramming into Eren's as he rounded a corner, Jean couldn't help but snap at the brunet. Being exactly who he was, Eren bit back and the true extent of the taller boy's fear came to light.

" Don't give me that crap, you suicidal asshole! " Jean snarled, the anger in his voice a mere veneer to cover his fear. " You wanted to join the Survey Corps! You were prepared to feed yourself to the Titans already! But I was going to the interior tomorrow, goddammit! "

" Calm down! "

" What, so chill out and accept my death?! "

" No! Remember our three years of training! " Eren insisted, gripping the taller boy's shoulders and shaking him roughly. " We've been on the verge of death so many times during those three years. Some, died, some ran away, and some were sent away— but we survived, didn't we?! We're gonna survive today, too! And then you're going to the fucking interior tomorrow! "

Mikoto took the opportunity that Eren's rousing speech, to nudge Jean in the back and throw him an order— if only to get his focus on a task.

" Hey Horseface, get Wrinkly out from under that wagon, " she ordered.

Peering over at Eren, she realized he was preoccupied by fielding Mikasa's overprotective tendencies; despite glancing over at Mikoto once or twice. She guessed she'd catch Eren and Mikasa later— after.