sparks fly - k. akaashi

three weeks

"it's stupid." she mumbled, refusing to lift her head up. "and it'll go away in a little bit."

akaashi frowned. "i don't want it to go w in a little bit. i want it to go away now. i can help, please."

"it's not even something i should be crying over." she bought her hands up to wipe her eyes. "honestly, just a little crying session. don't worry about me."

"i'm always going to worry about you. i'm always going to look out for you." he felt her moving back to look up at him then realized she was still crying and hid her face back in his chest.

"i think i'm just tired." she said once the tears had stopped. "and frustrated. i cry when i'm frustrated."

"why are you frustrated?" he asked softly and moved the coat tighter around her shoulders.

"it's so stupid." she groaned and pushed before off akaashi. or tried to. he wouldn't let her.

"it's not stupid." akaashi's thumb brushed against her damp cheeks. "it's your feelings and whether you think it's stupid because you're frustrated doesn't mean it's not valid. you're crying and i'm not letting you go until you feel better."

y/n let out a sigh when she figured out akaashi really wasn't going to let her go until she talked. "i haven't painted or done anything but a few sketches for the past three weeks. i know that's not bad but to me it's bad. art is one of the good things i can do and i haven't had any motivation to paint or pick up a paintbrush. what if i'm loosing motivation? what if i'm realizing art is not my thing now at twenty-two, almost twenty-three? i spent more of my life of art than i did on anything else."

"hey, just because you're loosing motivation doesn't mean it won't come back." akaashi dipped his head down and pressed his lips to the top of her head.

"it's been three weeks, it's never lasted three weeks. i usually finish three painting in three weeks. and it's so frustrating when my mom or dad ask me what my newest painting is and i snap at them or just give them one word answers and.. oh god, i just see the flicker of hurt in their eyes before they nod and walk off and it hurts me. i feel so guilty because they've been nothing but patient and supportive of my choices throughout my life. i just pent up all my frustration and let it out on them because they're right there."

y/n covered her face with her hands and shook her head. "i apologize every time and they just smile at me and give me a hug. i wish they would just yell at me or something. tell me i'm being a bitch and to fix myself up or something."

"they would never say that." akaashi didn't know her parents well, but he knew them well enough to know they'd never call their daughter a bitch.

"and konoha too." y/n sniffed and wiped her eyes again. "he's been through me being frustrated all the time. he's nothing but caring and i'm glaring at him whenever he asks a simple question. he's known me since i was eighteen and i was fine back then. i didn't have these week long or month long loss of motivation. i knew what i was doing back then. and now i'm losing it. i hate it, i hate that i'm feeling like this, and i hate that i'm hurting the people i care about."

"they understand." akaashi lifted her head up. "they love you. they understand. have you ever talked to anyone else about this?" she shook her head.

"your sister?"

"she's always at her practices and shows and doesn't live that close. i text her everyday. sometimes we text all day and others i just give her a few texts." y/n shrugged. "i miss her, a lot. but i can't add my stress onto her stress. she has performance anxiety and is always pushing herself during practices and rehearsals. if i tell her she'll just be worried and i don't want her to be."

"so you've just been keeping it inside you..?" akaashi asked slowly.

"pretty much. i don't usually cry like this. it just comes out of me once in a while and i can't handle it."

"you should tell someone." akaashi said and brushed his fingers over the back of her neck. "you don't have to say anything big.. just something small that's bothering you. for starters, you know. like how annoying one of the customers were or maybe how you hated the weather that day. and if you're comfortable you can slowly start talking about more and bigger topics from there."

"small topics.."

"small topics." akaashi finally pulled her away from his chest and began to wipe the tears away. "you can talk to your mom, dad, uncles or aunts, sister, even your cat or lana."

"our cat, excuse you. we have shared custody, don't forget that." y/n seemed to just realize they were standing outside. "oh jeez, can't you cold? how have you been standing out here in just your sweater and not complain about me hogging your coat?" she grabbed the coat from his hands and wrapped her arms around his neck to get him covered by the coat.

i would've sacrificed my warmth and comfort for you to be reassured and happy. i would stand all day in the snow if i had to. hearing you say that and hearing that you never told anyone about what you were feeling breaks my heart. would you have just continued keeping it to yourself if you didn't tell me? are you still keeping it to yourself now...?

"good thing you realized. i was starting to get a little cold." he said and led them back inside where their hot chocolates still were.

"you should've told me!" she poked his cheek that was red from the cold.

the worker at the counter took one look at akaashi's rosy cheeks and snow in his hair before picking up the two cups. "i'll reheat these for you."

"thank you." y/n smiled and sat back down in her chair, looking better than she did earlier. "and thank you too." she said when akaashi sat down.

"of course."

"you didn't list yourself." y/n pointed out and akaashi looked up at her while he was rubbing his hands together to get them warm again.

"hm?"

"when you were listening people i could talk to, you didn't list yourself." the waiter came back with the hot chocolates and placed them down on the table with a smile at the both of them before leaving.

"i was considering your family members first." he said and reached for the hot cup since rubbing his hands together was not doing the job.

"you put our cat before yourself?"

"yes, because she gets the privilege of living with you and that means she sees you more than me." akaashi was half complaining.

"are you jealous of a cat right now?"

"no." he was. only slightly though. just slightly.

"you're so cute." they were both hiding their faces behind their cups now. the two of them stayed in the shop until it was dark and both finished three cups of hot chocolate. probably wasn't healthy.

after they left the shop y/n turned to akaashi and raised her arms to wrap around his neck, pulling him in for a proper hug.

"in all seriousness, thank you." she said while burying her head into the crook of his neck. his arms were around her waist and pulling the ends of her sweater down.

"like i said, you can come to me whenever you want and i'll sit and listen any day. i'll never be too busy for you. i can wait patiently while you cry and let you cry it out before talking." he broke the hug first only to kiss her.

y/n slipped her hand into his pocket while pressing her lips against his. then she pulled away with smile and walked down the sidewalk. akaashi watched her walk off before leaving.

it wasn't until akaashi got back to his place did he realize she had stuck money into his pocket for the hot chocolates that he paid earlier.

adding six hot chocolates to the list.

~~~
this chapter was kinda.. 😕

guys i just flirted w someone, cried, and then
went back to flirting. multitasking 💪
^ that was over snap tho. not in person. i would cry even more if that was in person