We Fall Like Ashes | Wildfire Series

Twenty-Eight: When Hell Freezes Over

I probably should have prepped Nessa on what she was walking back into, but every time I opened a text to send to her, I got stuck. Like, what the hell was I supposed to say?

Hey, Nes. A little FYI for ya...I told Collins I wanted to fuck her, fingered her in the hallway, and now we're not talking. Just a heads up. See you when you're back.

Nah, I had no idea how to explain the situation with Collins, and I wasn't exactly in the mood to deal with a bunch of questions, either. So I stayed quiet. If we could somehow manage to not all be in the same room at one time, maybe Nessa wouldn't notice.

But that pretty much went out the window the very first night back, when Nessa thought it would be fun if we had a roommate night and grabbed dinner. Caught up.

Words usually flew out of my mouth, but this time...nothing. I couldn't think of one good excuse why I shouldn't get dinner with Nessa. Maybe Collins would come up with something, some reason why she couldn't join us. I mean, she sure had been coming up with a lot of reasons to avoid me lately, so it shouldn't be too hard.

It was only a matter of days. Not an eternity or anything. Maybe a millennium, though. Sure as hell felt like it had been that long since that night when I spilled my guts to her.

And she'd done what I asked. She hadn't looked at me like that, like she wanted me.

Meaning she hadn't looked at me at all.

At all.

I was wasting away out here in a fucking tundra. Wasn't in hell anymore. Nope, definitely not. I didn't have any brimstone or hellfire to warm my toesies at night. It was fucking cold as shit in this apartment, and it was all because...I'd lost her. At least that was what it felt like. Maybe that was dramatic, but I didn't care.

Collins spent her days mostly in her room. Sometimes I heard music. Sometimes I heard nothing. Up at seven-thirty, coffee shortly after. We were back to those early days when I had her goddamn schedule memorized but didn't dare interrupt it.

Part of me wondered if I should head back to Sacramento for a few days, give her some space to figure out whatever shit she needed to figure out. But then I remembered that fucking penguin, and I quickly threw that option out the window.

Nah, I couldn't leave her. But I'd give her time, even if it was torture out here with the Antarctic climate chilling me to the bone.

"So what'd you guys do over break?"

Nessa was oddly animated as she plucked a piece of pizza out of the cardboard box. She looked between Collins and me with giddiness in her eyes, and I wondered if she was excited to tell us what she did over break.

Clearing my throat, I kept my gaze trained on my pizza as I replied. "Not much. Went back to Sacramento for a few days over Christmas. Saw my parents. They sent you and piano man a present, by the way." I peeked up, glancing at Nessa and then nodding toward the Christmas tree, which we hadn't taken down yet.

Nessa didn't even look at the gifts, even though she sat right next to them in an oversized armchair we'd stuck in the corner of the living room. She froze instead. Maybe she felt the iciness, too. "Wait, you went to Sacramento for a few days? Where were you after that?"

Ah, shit. Yeah, I probably should have texted Nessa ahead of time.

I shrugged, taking a bite of pizza. "Here."

Nessa's brows drew together, and her dark eyes quickly flicked to Collins, tucked into a corner of the couch and as far away as she could possibly get from me.