-"Folie à Deux... Which means the theatric of two."
-"The madness of two,"
-"OH the madness of two, the madness of two..."
-
Previously known as Goin' Mad.
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A (mostly) gender neutral Madness Combat X Reader one-shots and head-canons book.
I suc...
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Dumb thing I made based off of something one of my close friends said to me on call yesterday. I would @ her here but she deleted her Wattpad account a while ago lol. This one goes out to you, Cereal.
Also I guess this is a shitpost to fluff type of thing? I don't know.
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××× After a long ass day, you decided to finally relax and go play something on your broken Windows 98 computer. But then you realize...
Oh no! Your Windows 98!! It's broken!!!
And because of that you let out an unholy demonic screech, calling for your hackerman boyfriend, Deimos. He immediately came rushing in thinking you fucking died or some lame shit but then he tripped and fell on his fucking shoe laces like a clumsy motherfucker. You wheeze at his face and he just turned into sadness combat and Somebody That I Used To Know started playing. You then threw a fucking sandal made of pure God damned metal on his head. He then got brain damage. Woopsy daisies. Well hey, at least he snapped out of his trance.
"Hey shawty, what do ya want baby girl?" He said as he lip-bit. And if you aren't a girl, then just fucking pretend you spat on him and he cried because of that. You blushed at him calling you shawty. "Shut the FUCK up and fix my FUCKING BITCHASS computer." You said as you were about to shove a half-eaten, covered-in-acid orphan down his throat.
Timeskip brought to you by R.A.C because I'm lazy and quirky and how do you do fellow kids uw-
If this ends up on R/fellowkids I honest to God hope you get downvoted into oblivion and back and into oblivion again.
...Anyways, you then went up to your hot and sexy boyfriend Deimos and it looked like he had installed a working fucking version of Windows on your computer. Actually, nevermind. He got you an entirely new computer. You didn't know where he got it but the blood on him and the computer and the A.A.H.W. sticker on it might explain where it came from. Fuckin'...#CoupleGoals?...I don't fuckin' know what that shit even means, man.
"Well uh...what do ya wanna do now?" He asked as he put his hands in his jacket's pockets awkwardly. "I was gonna play something but then my battle station broke." You said, hopefully ironically. Deimos sighed, slightly cringing at the fact that you called your old ass broken raggedy fucking Windows 98 computer a God damn "battle station". Get a life you loser.
I think Deimos should be the one getting a life considering he's cringing at you calling your computer your "battle station" whe he has done and said far, far more cringier and worse shit. But I digress.
"Well then, wanna play somethin'?" Deimos said. "R-R-R-R-R-Roblox please uwu." You (un)epicly told him. "O k ." He said, probably regretting this entire relationship. He then left your room to presumably go to his so he can play Ro🅱️los with you.
A few moment after that you heard a little notification sound from your computer. It was your Roblox, and Deimos has apparently messaged you. So now you know that your privacy is practically fucking non-existent and that your boyfriend hacked into every single information database in order to get information about you and to get your password. Guy probably knows Hank's password to BrickPlanet.com.
You took a look at your now freshly installed copy of Windows 11 (Deimos you have no taste. Install Windows 7 instead you cheap ass. Upgrading to Windows 11 because it was a free upgrade instead of buying a Windows 7. Asshole.) on your "brand new" computer. The background was an image of you and Deimos together on one of your first dates, cute. That image made you smile to yourself. You then decided to finally check your Roblox.com after keeping Deimos waiting for like uh...2...4 minutes? Somewhere in that time-range.
The first thing you saw was his little private message window on the bottom right. "hey sh aw ty wanna join me in my no hahstag gaem?" was what his message said. You sighed and accepted the offer by messaging him a simple "k" back.
You joined his game through the little join pop-up thing that appears from your Roblox private message window. R.I.P Roblox parties, sacrificed for this feature. You will be missed (by the few people who still remember that feature/actually used it/actually played Roblox at the time when Roblox Parties were a thing.).
When you joined you immediately noticed his avatar. You sighed and resisted the urge to slam your head onto your keyboard repeatedly until you got even MORE brain damage. His avatar was a...classic, generic looking slender...with a very light shade of gray for his skintone...and with a visor...oh my fucking God...
"hey b-babay…. w-wanna p-play mm2?" He said in the chat. You simply sighed and left the game. You looked at your computer with a blank face. You didn't know if you were supposed to laugh, cry, both, or none.
Deimos barged into your room once again. "Hey, where'd you go?!" He said as he put his hands on his hips with mock anger. You snickered at that. "Nowhere, I guess. I'm still here." You said with a slight smile on your face. "Good, you better be!" He said with a smile as he walked over to you and wrapped you in a hug. He rested his head in the crook of your neck and you relaxed in his arms.
"...So what was the thing with you dressing up like that?"
"Some questions are better left unanswered...shawty."
×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××× This is so bad, my God. Words: 979
