Polaris

Candy

Because it wasn't something I had told him to buy for me, Luka was the one who kissed me on the cheek this time around.

When he did it, my brain completely shut down, and I blushed furiously as he chuckled. "Like this, it's fair." He reasoned, and I couldn't find any reason to refute, but it was just..!!!!

We next went to a bookstore, and my eyes lit up at the prospect of choosing books, because I had never been allowed to read, even though I loved to.

Reading was a way of keeping me sane, and I used to spend my time in the school library reading, till someone accused me of stealing books and I got banned by the headmaster from entering the library. The librarian Mrs Charlotte, an old lady who didn't believe in the rumours that circulated around me and liked my company in the library also suddenly retired, and a sour old man took her place.

Of course, the whole scandal about me stealing ended up with Father being notified. I didn't want to remind myself of what happened anymore, because whenever I saw a book afterwards I'd almost burst into tears right there and then.

"Blaine? What's wrong?" Luka's voice brought me out of my rather bleak memories. I shook my head, hand absentmindedly going up to my torso, where I remembered Father would hit numerous times with a belt.

Eyes following my actions, I could swear that I saw his eyes flash gold and turn into slits for a second, before he gritted his teeth. "Please don't tell me your father hurt you for something related to books."

Shaking my head again, I took a step back. I'd never seen him so angry before. Luka only ever showed me displeasure when I told him I was fat, not pure, unbridled anger like now.

He was scary. He reminded me of Father..

Noticing my change, Luka quickly caressed my cheek, worriedly soothing me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just.." He sighed. "It's in my nature to be a little overbearing. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I hurriedly responded, "Y-You've done a lot for me, I j-just got startled." I could feel my throat dry up. I wasn't used to talking so much. Even back in my ward, Luka talked while I listened, because he knew my vocal chords were damaged.

To make him feel better, I picked out some books I wanted to get. "Could..Could I have these, please?"

It sounded so demanding, like I was someone qualified to want things. I internally prepared myself to be rejected, because why would Luka buy useless things like these for me?

"Okay. Let's go get them." Luka responded softly. "Let's take a quick break after this, okay?"

I nodded, feeling my throat sting and hurt. I swallowed, and a dull ache shot through my neck.

As agreed, I went up to Luka and pressed a kiss onto his cheek, blushing furiously. He smiled, caressing my head. "Thank you." He said. What was he even thanking me for? I didn't get it.

I was actually quite eager to get these books, but my underlying fear that Luka would suddenly hurt me for wanting things made me hesitate. In the end, I settled on a few books, and was about to put the discarded pile back but Luka took them off my hands.

"Did you want these too?" He asked me, tilting his head slightly. I shook my head, "No, I-I just wanted to see."

"Blaine.."