Roses For You

Mother's Love

"Love is something like the clouds that were in the sky before the sun came out. You cannot touch the clouds, you know; but you can feel the rain and know how glad the flowers and thirty earth are to have it after a hot day. You cannot touch love either, but you can feel the sweetness that pours into everything.". -Annie Sullivan

The warm sunlight drizzled down on my mothers face, only making her look even more beautiful than she already was. From what I could remember, we were sitting together, alone in a vast field of flowers. I can't exactly remember why my father wasn't their with us, taking in what spring had to offer. I sat in her lap as she stoked my soft blonde hair, as she hummed a soft tone into my ear. I felt as if I could sit their with her for the rest of my days. And then her humming came to a stop.

I can remember her sitting their in silence for a long while, with only the sounds of the bees buzzing around and singing birds that rested in the field with us. She then turned to me, looking me straight in the eyes. On her face, she had a wide smile, and her eyes filled of comfort and love. She looked into the grass and into the beautiful field of flowers. She stood up, and picked up a lonely rose that was already plucked from a bush, but yet their were no rose bushes to be seen.

My mother smiled slightly as she pinned the flower into the baby blue t-shirt I had on that day. "Every man needs his flower," I can remember her saying. But I also remember the slight crack in her voice, which didn't sound like her at all. I stood up too, smiling and thanking her for the beautiful flower, and hugging her legs. She laughed and picked me up off the ground, tossing me into the sky. I could feel the wind roll through my hair as I flew through the sky, giggling until my face turned pink. Once I landed again in my mother's arms, she gave me a giant wet kiss on the cheek. She softly laughed and cradled me in her arms. Then she looked me in my eyes with pink rosy cheeks. "I love you, sweetheart," she muttered. "I love you too, mommy!" I happily exclaimed back. But why did I have to be so wrong?

I was so young, only five years old. No five year old should go through so much pain, depression, or guilt. No, but I had to, out of all the children in this cruel world. She set me down and kneeled down to my level. Her smiled seemed to fade away. "Would you like to play a game?" she requested. I smiled and nodded violently, "What would you like to play?" I quoted. My mother hesitated to answer, but she did keep eye contact with me. "Hide and Seek, please." my mother finally fulfilled. I smiled widely, I was very excited to play with her. "Okay! I'll hide, you seek! Count to twenty- and no peeking!" I shouted as I ran off into the field to find a hiding place.

Not too far away their was a large, beautiful tree full of small white flowers; the perfect hiding spot. I rapped my small legs around it and shimmed up the tree. I climbed up about half way (I couldn't climb all the way up because I was way too scared!) and rapped my arms around the trunk, holding myself in place. And then I waited for my mother to come searching for me. I waited... and I waited. My mother was no where to be seen. I waited for what felt like hours up in that uncomfortable tree, but finally becoming intolerant and climbing back down to search for her.

II looked around the area where we sat in, and all around the field, and yet I still couldn't find a single trace of her being. "M-Mom? Mom! I'm done playing this game! You win!" I shouted, slightly alarmed of being alone. "Mommy! Where are you? Mommy! Mom!" I shouted once more. I walked around the field once more searching for her, but she was still out of sight. I looked out into the horizon, only to see the big bright sun setting behind the trees of a small forest that was ahead of me. I was starting to grow tired; at this time of night I would be getting ready for bed. I sat down in the field and rested my head in the grass. I felt so lonely and helpless at the time, I didn't know what to do or how to get back home- I couldn't even remember where I lived. I was starting to give up hope that my mother was even in the field. Warm tears started to roll down my cheeks and into the grass, softly dripping into the soft soil. My mother lied. she never truly loved me.

I eyes felt heavy. I was so tired, I could remember the difficulty of trying to close my eyes, because I felt like I kept seeing someone stand off in the distance. Just before I could drift off into sleep, I could her footsteps slowly walking towards me. I quickly lifted up my head and looked off in the distance, and I could see tall figure walking towards me. "M-Mommy...?" I whimpered as I rubbed my eyes. "I'm sorry, but I'm not your mommy," the figure talked to me. The stranger was now in view- and it was not my mother. The stranger was much taller than my mother, and a male. He had whimsical blonde hair that swept up and over to the side of his slim head. He had a long black trench coat on, with a ruby red undershirt and matching tie. He seemed very nicely dressed. He leaned down to my level and smiled warmly "What is your name? How old are you?" he urged. "M-My name is Berwald... a-and I'm five and a half years old- have you seen my mom?" I asked him, sounding slightly restless. The man frowned. "No, I haven't seen your mom..." he reached out his hand. "Come with me, Berwald." I hesitated to take his hand, how did I know to trust him? I was so tired, and I knew I needed somewhere to spend the night... So I toke his hand.

He lifted me onto my feet and leaded me into the forest ahead of us. "My name is Mathias, by the way. I think you and me will become terrific friends." he aforesaid to me. I said nothing back. I just watched the field of flowers become smaller and smaller as we walked closer into the forest, until it was out of sight.

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(7 years later- 1:23 in the morning)

I could see and feel my soft breaths collide with the chilly air. I could hear the wilderness around me; the chirping of birds, animals big and small looking for a place to spend the night, and he air brushing against my ears... It was all so delightful. he nights I spent outside of the roof of Mathias's house seemed to be the most peaceful of nights. I twirled the small pink rose I held in my fingers and smiled. At that moment I could hear footsteps coming from inside the open window from which I climbed through. A young boy popped his head out of the window, only to find me sitting in view. "Berwald? What are you doing outside at this time of night?" the boy said wearily.

It was my step brother, Lukas. "Yeah, I was just coming inside", I pinned the rose back into my night shirt and slipped out the window, landing on the floor with a thump. "Hey, why are you up so late anyway? You know Mathias would be upset to see you awake right now," I ignored him and sat on my bed. "And why are you out on the roof? You know Mathias said not to go on the roof anymore!" he started to nag in a low whisper. I sighed, "I should be asking you the same question, Lukas. Why are you up so late?" I questioned him. He hesitated to answer. "Don't worry about me, you should just go back to sleep," he answered as he stepped out the room, leaving the door wide open. I lifted the covers over my head and closed my eyes, immediately falling into a deep sleep... A deep sleep I wish I could have waked up out of sooner.