𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐌 ( 𝙎𝘾𝘼𝙍𝘼𝙈𝙊𝙐𝘾𝙃𝙀 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍 )

𝟐𝟕

I dropped myself on a chair near me when I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore.

"I did! I really left and it was for you, (Y/N)! It's not what you think it is." He cried and went towards me. "I'm no-"

"Just why..." I tilted my heard downwards and sobbed quietly, "Why do you still have it?"

My chest was hurting so much and my mind was becoming blurry so I forced my eyes shut for a moment.

"Just hear me out, please.." He sighed and knelt down to look at my face. Pain was so evident in his eyes and voice.

"What about us? Everything that happened to us... Was all of that plainly just an act?" I covered my face when more tears escaped my eyes.

"No, they're not.." He shook his head and pursed his shaking lips.

"Was everything a lie? Did you just make me love you for your own good?" I closed my eyes shut and cried more. "Was that just to keep me around?"

"No, what the fuck are you saying?" He shook his head. "I love you, I really do. I didn't force you into anything." His lips parted.

I shook my head at his response and looked away. "How can I..." I didn't continue what I was going to say when my breath hitched.

"You just can't remember anythi-"

"Exactly!" I cut him off. "I don't know anything... and I'm not entirely sure about anything anymore. So, how am I sure everything you did was genuine?" I closed my eyes shut and sobbed.

I don't know if anything he said about us being together in the past was true anymore.

"Everything I did and I'm still doing, they're all fucking real. Not a single thing I did was a lie." He tried to pry my hands off my face. "You're fucking important to me, please..." He begged.

I shook my head and lifted my head up to look at him, he was crying too and he looked like he's in so much in pain.

"I trusted you so bad... I trusted you and I loved you." I kept repeating those words. "Why did you have to lie to me?" I bit my bottom lip and felt my eyes stinging in pain again.

"I would never fucking lie to you and I can't, even if I wanted to." He empathically said.

"Then why did you use me?" I pulled my hair with my hands.

"It's not like that, okay?" His voice became shaky. "I love you so fucking much." He whispered, sighing heavily.

I still couldn't sense the sincerity in his words.

"I got it way before we met here again. But that's not my plan anymore..." He tried to reach for my hand but I pushed him away again and got up from the chair angrily.

"Then why do you still have it?! Why are you still like this if you have it already?!" I shouted at him.

At this point, I was losing it and my heart felt heavier each second goes by.

"Just tell me... If that thing matters to you, then what am I? You just used me?" My voice lowered. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked hurt by what I said.

"You're more important to me, I didn't use you." He shook his head and pursed his lips.

"THEN TELL ME WHY YOU STILL HAVE IT!" My voice roared in anger, I couldn't control my voice rising anymore.

"You're just tired, we can talk about this later, okay?" He begged and reached for my hand.

"No, we're talking about this right now! Just tell me the truth, I'm begging you, Kuni.." I sobbed and shook my head repeatedly.