WERE TOO YOUNG <3

"Chapitre 16 " : my kind of man

I took my set we were in our farm , it was the weekend , lesi and mrs jocker coming to visit us .
He laughed saying hey .
I moved slowly while he's admiring the vue with a cup of cappuccino , I jumped : "hey mrs jacker can we fall in love with two people at the same time ?".
He looked back with opening eyes and silently :
"you can absolutely fall in love with two different people at the same time , your brain is cranking out of dopamine for both of them because they make you feel special and loved in different ways."
I smiled back with a worried face expression: " it's crush then not love we should not confuse between it , or otherwise if I really love the first one, I wouldn't fall for the second!" , he looked embarrassed of what I said, "the right one will come , stop looking for it when you chase something you end up losing it".
With surprising fact I looked away trying to remind my self of what I deserve than what please me for the moment. It some sweet ...When I felt that I know the guy who keep visiting me in my dreams every time .
I wasn't sure of his face parts , but I was sure about the feeling he made me feel when iron was standing in front of me looking through my eyes deeply till he got close and fixed my hair slowly and stopped like he was running from me .
I knew the guy from the dreams when he looked at me deeply in my eyes. I couldn't tell if I want to tell him or not . I was going to tell him about it just so I can acknowledge him about all those connected moments between us .
I took the paper from the table and added to it "love you" with a small heart , wondering if he will see it .
He took my hand and helped me to go out with a little knee cross "my princess!". I felt like there's a beautiful magic growing inside it's like healing those broken parts with blooming flowers, the way everything was sounding like Mozart parts ....
"Oh god", I was looking for an answer I internally cursed myself for sounding so breathless, it's just that he had been avoiding me the whole time that Leo was here and the night I was wondering about the reason , I suddenly opened the chat trying to send a message but I saw it , he deleted the last heart emoji he send . In all honestly I didn't know if I should have felt relieved or worried because I had come to terms with the fact that Leo and I couldn't be something .
After knowing he's taken , I didn't want to be a bitch even through I saw the way he was looking towards me even when he's with her, and I saw the way he acts with her but what I saw too was the wrong to be around him .
I moved on . But memories were always alive
I started at the man who claimed to be Leo . He no longer looked like Leo . I didn't know what to feel until iron was here holding the glass , when I'm setting alone wondering about loneliness, he said : "hey ".
For a moment I knew that I should stop , I convinced myself about it till i saw the paper , it stills there .
Wondering if it means something or just an illusion of nothing .

Until the next time I said there's no other time .
He stepped towards me asking me to join him, but I stopped myself from saying yes . I left him setting in the ground alone , I was brave to go and joining him but I stopped myself for a stupid promise I made.
He came to me took a seat and was completely worried , I felt his heart beating and his heavy breaths with his thighs meeting mine , trying to take them away but he kept cementing them , feeling them slowly getting close , he looked me with his eyes I smiled as if I'm not confused what to do .
He tried to not make the situation look awkward , he couldn't help . His thighs pressed right against mine and almost all of his body heat which made my heart jump to my throat and I wasn't sure if it was because I was terrified or nervous of what I was feeling. What I was feeling didn't even feel right, it felt so outlandish. Was that what love felt like? Outlandish?
He leaned back on my chest , i brought my hand up and threaded it through his soft brown hair before closing the few inches of air that separated us. Passionately , " you're comfortable " I said , "yes it sounds exactly like what I'm feeling". He replied .
After a few minutes he pulled back and stared down at me , his eyes holding a look that told me that he was holding something back. Something he was hesitant to ask or say. I didn't press the issue but after a few more. He lowers his head down and fixed his hair slowly playing with his finger. The stress was ostensibly, " you smells so good" he said gently turning his head towards me , looking deeply in my eyes . We turned both away .
My mind saying just break it , as I made the promise to never be closer with him , the time lead us to another moment .
The other day was a sad one for him , I was looking to his dad expression, another relationship trouble.
With everything my mind was wishing god to make things good for them specially for him. As if turned out the next day after my prays ....
His eyes were apocalypse though I would never see them again .
{ full enough I can see him in my dreams . .................... and the memories we made together, as he said we wanted to last forever.}

When I was young
You were all that I wanted then
I faded and I never felt you again .. <3