Crumbling Bridges {YuJae} | complete

four

╭──────༺♡༻──────╮

Jaehyun pulls his coat tight over his chest to cover his name tag when he ducks into the shop. A few customers turn their heads at the gust of cold air that invades with his entrance, so he keeps his head low and diverts straight to the staffroom with no intention to interact with anyone.

His shoulder brushes past Yuta's. The touch forces a hiss from his lips, but he never spares the energy to meet the elder's sad gaze. Frustration pulses through his mind in sickening waves, the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, and his entire body wants nothing but to collapse to the floor as soon as the door shuts behinds him.

He piles the shopping bags in the corner and falls onto the sofa. Yuta's leather jacket hangs on its hook across the room. The pin badges glow bright against the black material like a constellation of stars; they're only viewable from a painful distance. Hugging his knees, Jaehyun wishes he could become a child again and not have to stress over adult responsibilities or suffer the consequences of his irrational behaviour. The tears were minimal, but the soreness left in their wake suffocates him. He rips the damp tissue from Yuta while he labours over each breath.

Jaehyun wants to do something right, for once. But he keeps ruining things. Yuta is a cool guy. He's handsome, sweet, generous... the list goes on, and Jaehyun scrunches the tissue up in his fist in the hope that the physical sensation of his cramping fingers will overpower the haze in his mind. Yuta embodies everything he wants. Everything he believed Sanghoon could give him. Everything he didn't get.

The walls creep closer each time he dares to blink. The flames of anger crackle and lick and pelt insults at him with all their might, yet Jaehyun succumbs to a wallowing emptiness and rests his chin on his knees. There should be arms around him, but instead he's alone because he pushed Yuta away. He struggles to understand why he acted the way he did. Why he kicked and hissed and lied to Yuta's face, despite knowing he can trust him. Johnny trusts Yuta, and Jaehyun trusts Johnny's judgement of people.

"Jaehyun? Are you- oh, there you are. Hey." Taeil approaches with small steps once the door is shut. The muffled music stings Jaehyun's ears. The elder perches beside him. "Yuta said you'd be here."

Jaehyun shakes his head at the mention of the name he no longer deserves to hear uttered in the same context as his own. Distance is painful, but distance is safe. He's realised that much since getting divorced then dumped on two separate occasions since.

He still presses his forehead into Taeil's shoulder when offered a hug.

"Did you two argue?"

Jaehyun makes no attempt to reply but Taeil must infer the answer from the hitch in his breath and the squeezing grip he has on the elder's shirt, because he pats his back and offers to grant Jaehyun the afternoon off.

"You'll still get paid, don't worry. Some rest and time apart will do you both good. You really care about him, I can tell, so it'll turn out okay."

Taeil gathers the bags and Jaehyun manages a weak smile as he bins the tissue and rolls his shoulders in stiff circles.

A dark cloud in the distance urges his feet to move quicker on the way to the bus stop, although it triggers a tug of war with the reminder that Hyejin is at home and the red of his eyes will be the first thing she notices, and that makes him want to get off the bus early. He succeeds in finding a seat this time and stares out the window at a small playground. The wind agitates the empty swings, and the metal slide glints with rainwater. He took Hyejin there once. Alcohol had seized Sanghoon again, so Jaehyun clasped the girl's tiny hand and walked with her when she sought comfort in his arms, no other options available. These days, she seeks comfort in stolen cigarettes and the refusal to do homework.