A Different Path

Mistrust

"It is one's actions that really matter, Uncle Vasu, not mere words. That is all I have to say on this matter. And if I feel abandoned then that is because I was."

Karna sighed, running a careless hand through his hair. "I am sorry, son. You truly deserve better."

Lakshman pushed himself off the table and shrugged. "People rarely ever really get what they deserve. All our experiences and our circumstances are simply a product of chance. Tell me Uncle Vasu, did you get what you deserved?"

"This is different. It isn't wrong to have expectations from your family and feel deceived when they are not met."

"And your family has never let you down?"

"This isn't about me! This is about you. I am worried for you Lakshman."

"Why so?"

"Because you are working yourself to death." Karna squeezed Lakshman's shoulder and pointed at his face. "Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? You look like you are going to faint from exhaustion."

"I won't. You needn't worry. One thing I have learnt this past year is to care for myself."

"This isn't caring for yourself. Diverting attention to other areas of your life isn't going to help you heal."

Lakshman looked away, unwilling to have this conversation. The look in his eyes however was telling of his pain.

"What is it that you want to know, Uncle Vasu? If I am alright? Is that the point of this conversation?"

"Yes!"

"Well, I am not. How can I be alright? How can anyone who partook in that cataclysmic war be alright? Or perhaps it is my own shortcoming - I have never been one for violence."

Lakshman looked shaken. His shoulders sagged and eyes were lowered. "But ultimately, it wasn't the war that broke me. It's what happened after."

"Son."

"It was coming back to a broken home. I didn't have anyone, Uncle. Not one person came to my room and asked me if I was alright. I had been in a war for heaven's sake. I had seen so many people die, my family, right in front of my eyes. I was not okay, I was......was....scared and traumatized. And I had no one."

Lakshman took a deep breath, trying his best not to have a breakdown. Karna wanted to reach out to him, to give him a hug, to share his pain but how could he when he too was one of the culprits. He too had left the kid alone, to deal with the consequences of the Great War.

"Oh dear Lord Shiva!" Laskhman mumbled, using his hands to swipe away the traitorous tears and gave him a small smile. "I guess......it's quite selfish of me to only think of myself and not the others when-"