Song of a Sophomore

CHAPTER 16 - Me Against the World

The words are popping right out my mouth with ease, no awkward pauses. "Can I see your schedule? I wonder if we have any other classes together? Or lunch?"

Jordan pulls out her printout and pushes up her glasses as she compares it to mine. "We have history together and we have the same lunch period. Why don't you sit with me? I can introduce you to some people."

"Thanks so much! I'd love that." I am so grateful I could hug her on the spot. Thanks to Jordan, I have a shot at meeting people who aren't deranged cheerleaders.

"No problem." Jordan looks over my shoulder suspiciously, then writes down the answer to the first math problem on her worksheet. "Don't look now, but Leo Goodwin is staring at you."

"Who's that?" I ask, wondering if it is a good or a bad thing.

She sighs and shakes her head. "He's into playing sports and trying to be popular, you know? Like, he's funny but also annoying... and totally full of himself."

"Is he still looking over here?" I gulp.

Jordan assesses the situation over my shoulder. "Yeah, he's checking out your legs."

I stare down at my crossed legs, acutely aware of the pink flesh of my thighs peeking out between my knee-high socks and short, pleated skirt. The familiar wave of self-consciousness washes over me, but I fight the desire to squirm and pull my skirt down over my bare knees.

"Whatever." I roll my eyes and pretend not to care, but when Jordan bends down to tuck her notebook into a canvas tote bag, the urge to peek over my shoulder is too strong to resist.

Familiar gray eyes meet mine from across the room and I recognize the ogre who bumped into me immediately. As my hands tugged at the hem of my pleated skirt in a self-conscious reflex, the bell tolls. I gather my belongings and make a mad dash for the door, distancing myself from the boy with the intense stare. 

Just when I've forgotten all about him, I spot Leo sitting in the back of my second period biology class with Zachary Ashburn at his side. Zachary's brilliant blue eyes met mine and he whispers something Leo, and now they're both staring at me with curiosity. Embarrassment sears over my cheeks when I realize Zach is probably pointing me out as the girl who flashed everyone her underwear in the gym on Friday. I sit and bury my head in my hands, weak and on the edge of defeat. 

It's me against the world, and the world is winning. 

I stare out the window at the barren courtyard most of class. The memory of the locker room incident stirs up so much anger and shame and I worry pretending to be someone else will not heal the hatred in my heart. Yes, I hate Katelyn and Bethany, but I also hate myself for walking into their trap and for being so awkward, plain and helpless. 

Maybe if I wasn't such a fat, freckled, ugly dork, this wouldn't have happened in the first place. 

I sigh in frustration.

"Something wrong?" asks the preppy girl beside me who looks like she stepped out of a J. Crew catalog. 

She's so pretty and perfect, I can't believe she's talking to me. "Um, uh... I guess I'm having first day jitters. My family just moved here a few weeks ago, so I don't know anyone."

"Well, you know me now." She tugs a strand of her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear and offers a handshake. "I'm Courtney Saulter."

"Hi, I'm Rose Blakeway." I smile, in awe of my good fortune. 

So far today, I've met two people—nice ones—but why am I still so nervous? I wipe my sweaty palms on my skirt and look down at my schedule. Next is third-period, U.S. History, followed by fourth-period... public speaking.