Passion Bearers

The water and the ice

The water listens and understands but the ice does not forgive -Leigh Bardugo

(for full experience listen to Jealous by Labrinth during the second part)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Tommy had forgotten the one that he married. He forgot who Tess was. She was not some pretty, little stupid thing that would go along with every word he said. She was Theresa Boswell. The granddaughter of the Old Mae, the daughter of Thalia. She was no meek thing.

In a way, Tess had forgotten who she was as well.

She was driven to stay loyal to him that she'd lost her own sense of identity. She became Tommy Shelby's wife, Charlie and Tara's mother. She was his good wife that stayed at home, receiving pitiful looks on the street.

She had been so foolish and young and desperate when she married Tommy. But, she was not anymore. She could live a life on her own, forever a widow for a man that was still alive.

Tess tried to prove it to Tommy in the following weeks that the Shelbys travelled with the Boswells. She avoided him and despite it angering him, she spoke civilly to Randy, asking him for forgiveness for her husband hitting him. Her and Randy talked and they thought it be best that he marry Dahlia, who was a widow with children of her own to take care of. He agreed, saying that he'd been delirious to go after Tess in desperation.

Tommy fumed in the background as she talked to her former fiancé but Tess pretended that she didn't notice. She went on with life with a straight back and a calm facade, finding peace in the small things as they travelled through the country. She helped out the stable boys with the horses sometimes, other times she washed the dishes and on some occasions, she'd help Terrance skin the prey that he'd killed during hunting.

Her, Esme and Polly often had tea with her mother and Dahlia, who regained her colours since Randy proposed to her. They all seemed very civil and jovial in their simple talk, making Tess feel content and warm. But, Esme was the most ecstatic to be out in the wilderness, her eyes alight whenever she was horseback riding. Tess smiled as she saw her new sister adjust so well into the marriage with John. At least, she told herself, that would be one marriage she could save.

Tess even talked to John and Arthur, who also enjoyed the slow flow of life down on the road. Their smiled were big and lazy, their embraces warm as they told her of how they worried when she left. Tess always smiled fondly back at them, ruffling their hair and fixing their ruffled shirts.

Tommy began to slowly try to regain Tess' trust, which she first vehemently rejected.

When he found out she had terrible morning sickness, she found medicine in front of her vardo in the morning, signed with a T. He'd bring her flowers each day, which she would take then throw away in front of him. It made him sulky for the rest of the day so graciously, Tess slowly began to accept without saying anything. He did not write poems of forgiveness or sing praise to her but his eyes followed Tess wherever she went as if she held the light of the universe. When she decided to sing songs by the fire with Esme and Dahlia, he looked at her with such longing in his eyes that Tess feared that he got tears in his eyes.

Everyone could see that Tommy was overcome with longing for his wife but Tess remained stubborn in her rebuffal. She knew that it was mean of her but she wanted him to feel the taste of his medicine, that angry she was at him. Two weeks passed since he first came but Tess still wouldn't yield. She still could barely work past her own feelings, even less with Tommy's. She was not ready to confront him yet and in truth, she didn't know when that day would come.