Ended Up With Color Blue

CHAPTER: 24

"Write a wish list?"

I softly smile. "Can I join you in fulfilling that?" I asked her. 

Her face lit up. We walked away from that place together. In every corner of this school there are memories that have imprinted on me whether it is good or bad.

Some people say that it is better to realise your mistake in life than to continue. There are people who will choose goodness in the end because that will be your only ace for life, we all hope to change and live in peace. Although it was not easy at first, I knew they would reach the end as well.

We are at home now. The table was full of food, different dishes and others were my main favourites. Manang and her companions smiled at me. The decoration they put on the wall was just simple.

I lost my sight there when someone walked up to me, I looked at my grandfather who was now overjoyed. "I'm really proud of you farrel." he led me to the window where you could see the bright atmosphere that seemed to coincide with this day.

"I'm sure your mommy was proud of you." he was looking at the sky, so I looked there too. The blue sky greeted our eyes. Even though I didn’t hear that word from mom I knew she was proud of me now.

We are now on the dining front, we are all focused on our meals. Grandpa and dad never lost their stories about me when I was young. Gusto ko na lamang magpakain sa lupa ngayon dahil sa kahihiyan. "Iyakin na bata 'yang si farrel noon, laging pumupunta sa akin at nagsusumbong," kwento ni dad. Mahinang tumawa sila Manang at tumango. 

I just ignored them and resumed eating. We were eating quietly and happily when someone suddenly appeared in front of us. Others were stunned and could not believe what they saw today. I was even surprised at his arrival.

I blinked a few times and looked at dad who was now looking at my older brother. My older brother smiled at me as he cried with joy. I did not expect that on graduation day one of my wishes would be fulfilled, my older brother's return to our home. I have waited years, months and days for his return and now that he is in front of us I can't explain the joy I feel, I feel more than the word joy now.

When we finished eating, Dad called my older brother to the library. Hindi mawala wala ng mga bulongan ng mga tauhan ni Dad ngayon. Ilang minuto kaming naghihintay na matapos na ang usapan nila at maya-maya pa'y bumukas na ang pinto at lumabas mula doon si Kuya.

Ngumiti ito sa lahat bago ipinukol ang tingin sa akin. Sinenyasan niya ako na sumunod kaya wala akong nagawa kundi sundan siya patungo sa garden. Bumungad sa amin ang tahimik na kapaligiran, walang tao at kaming dalawa lang ang nandito. 

He slowly faced me. In the past year, his appearance has changed a lot, his face has matured and his body has grown bigger. But there are things that will not change our love as brothers.

He hugged me and I hugged him back. In a few moments we also released ourselves. He laughed softly and wiped away his tears. "I'm sorry I left you and dad."

"Because of me you have to suffer. I'm sorry because I was afraid to face what dad wanted. I didn't do anything for you. "

Suddenly my heart melted as he said those words. "It's not your fault kuya and you're not a coward."

He smiled even though I knew he felt sorry for me of my experiences. "Even if you leave, you still have home to go, that's me and dad," I said.

"I'm not going to leave you and dad. I'm going to face my responsibility and I'm not going to let you suffer for me."

It's late but I still can't sleep. I looked across the wall of my room where my older brother's room was. There are many changes in my life but I will not lose the people who have built on my past, even if they leave me as long as they are important to me they are already marked in my heart.

Lumabas ako sa aking silid at nagtungo sa kusina para uminom ng tubig. Ng matapos ko ng inumin ang aking tubig muli akong naglakad pabalik sana pero nakasalubong ko si Dad. "Farrel…" tawag niya sa pangalan ko. 

Nakatayo kami habang nakatanaw sa labas ng aming tahanan. Huminga ng malalim si Dad at nagsalita, "Patawad dahil marami akong pagkukulang sa inyo ng kapatid mo, I didn't give you a time and I didn't give you the opportunity to fulfill the desires you want to pursue in life."

He looked at me and smiled. "I don't want to do what I did to your brother again, so I want you to pursue your dream. This time I won't force you to do what I want. Just promise me you'll be happy."

Suddenly my tears flowed which I had been holding back. I wiped it with my hand. "I thought I would never be able to chase my dream, I thought I would stay compliant with what you want dad. Thanks for trusting dad." he came up to me and gave me a tight hug, a hug that felt the love of a father.

In an instant our home was colored again because of the arrival of my older brother, we were once again complete as a family. My older brother put his arm around me while looking at the camera, dad held my hand, he was sitting in his favourite chair. We both smiled at the camera.

And today we decided to take our new life. 

We got out of the car, the windy place opened up to us. My older brother carried the basket and blanket while I was carrying my camera. Dad was holding a bouquet of roses.

Once we made our way to mommy's grave, we were now smiling like there was no problem. When we finally got there, my Brother immediately adjusted the blanket, and put down the basket.

We support dad by sitting in front of mom's grave. We also sat on dad's side, we looked at mommy. Daddy gently laid down the flower he was holding. "I can't wait to be with you again my love…"

"Even a few years ago you were still the woman I would love. I have no regrets about having a family with you. I love you."

My brother and I looked at each other. Kuya put his hand on dad's shoulder. "Dad, didn't I say earlier that there was no crying?" Dad and I both laughed.

"Sorry, I forgot." Dad wiped away his tears.

I looked at mom again. "Mommy, I will fulfil your dream for me, I will not give up my dream." 

My older brother tapped me on the shoulder and smiled. "Mom, I promise I will never leave them dad and farrel again. I will also fulfil my dream as you said."

We smiled as we look mommy’s grave. If you look at us today, we are full of joy on our faces. I used to only dream about it but now it's true that I don't have to dream again to see us like this.

We decided na kumain na. Binuksan namin ang mga tupperware, bumungad sa amin ang mga paboritong pagkain ni Mommy. Sabay kaming natawa ni Kuya ng inilapit iyon ni Daddy para makita ni Mom. Masaya naming pinagsaluhan ang pagkain na inihanda namin para kay mom. 

Even though mom was in heaven I knew she was watching us, I knew she had a smile on her lips. The sky is blue, blue which means freedom for me. Everything became clear for me, I was more courageous because I knew they were behind me, Dad and my Brother.

I used to think I would never be able to fight my dream, I thought I would never be able to hold my camera again but now I can hold it even in my death.

Everyone got lost, I lost but I got back together with the woman I love while still holding my camera. She gave me the strength to live and to live my dream. She is the only one I will love even though I know that our story will soon end.