Dis Aliter Visum

Chapter 30

“You want to go alone?” Kuroro asked, studying Kurapica's face intently. “You're asking me to take quite a risk, here.”

Kurapica nodded. “I know.” He licked his lips, trying to find a way to convince the older man to let him go. “Letting me go wouldn't be the smartest thing to do, under the circumstances. But I really need this right now.” He hesitated. “Please,” he finally added, though it cost him a lot to say that one little word.

Kuroro regarded him in silence for some time. Kurapica's heart sank. He was pretty certain that the older man would never let him go. Finally, Kuroro said, “Look at me.” His voice was soft, not authoritative in the least, but Kurapica found himself turning to face him automatically. He didn't even hesitate. One moment, he was fixing his coffee mug, the next, he was looking into Kuroro's midnight eyes. The Spider head regarded him in silence for some time, searching his eyes, as if he was trying to read Kurapica's thoughts. Then, he said, “Kiss me.”

Kurapica blinked, his cheeks getting slightly warmer. “You want me to, to kiss you?” Kuroro nodded. The blond thought about it for a moment, then asked, “If I do, will you let me go?”

Kuroro regarded him in silence for another tense moment. “If I see no indication that you intend to break your promise to me,” he finally said.

“That's not very encouraging,” Kurapica said, looking away. “You could just arbitrarily decide that I look like I'm going to run and prevent me from going.”

“I could,” the Spider head replied. “But I won't. Not unless I have a very good reason to.”

Kurapica took a sip of coffee, trying to think of what to say or do. “I'm not sure I should believe you,” he finally replied.

“That's up to you,” Kuroro said easily. He reached out and placed two fingertips onto Kurapica's cheek, letting them slide down gently. “You don't have to believe me or trust me.”

Kurapica sighed and finished his coffee. Then he placed the empty cup on the end table. He rubbed the fingers of his right hand onto his palm lightly a few times. Then he breathed in, breathed out, and closed the distance between them. His lips brushed against Kuroro's for just a moment before he pulled away. Kuroro's hand buried into his golden hair and he angled Kurapica's head up, pressing their lips more firmly together. Kurapica made a soft, surprised little gasp and felt Kuroro's fingers tighten in his hair. Then the Spider head's tongue was licking at his lips gently and Kurapica's hands flew to the older man's shoulder to clutch at his shirt. The room started spinning. His heart was hammering in his chest. When Kuroro pushed his tongue in his mouth, Kurapica heard a soft whimper and was appalled to realize it came from him. Kuroro's arm snaked around the back of his waist and he pulled him closer. Kurapica wasn't sure he could even remember how to breathe.

Suddenly, his hands raked up to tangle into the soft black hair. He felt too hot, felt too cold, everything was spinning and his entire world seemed focused on the slide of Kuroro's tongue against his. Kuroro pulled at his waist again, and suddenly Kurapica found himself straddling the older man's lap. He groaned softly, and the sound brought him back to his senses. He suddenly pushed himself away, scrambling off Kuroro's lap, eyes wide, cheeks flushed. The look in Kuroro's eyes, the naked hunger and want that he saw there sent his hands shaking and his heart hammering. Kuroro got up and turned away from him.

There was a long, awkward moment. Then Kuroro said, “When we we're across the mountains, I'll buy you a plane ticket.” He went over to his luggage and pulled some clothes out. “I'm going to shower now. When I'm done, we'll leave.”

Kurapicanodded, though the older man wasn't looking at him. Once Kuroro had closed the bathroom door behind himself, he raked one, then both hands through his hair. He forced his breathing to return to normal. Then he served himself another cup of coffee and went around the room to get all of their things together. When Kuroro finally stepped out of the bathroom, hair dry in prevision of the cold temperature outside, Kurapica still couldn't look at his face. They bought some food off of the innkeeper to last them a few days. Kuroro estimated that coming out on the eastern side of the Sakagi mountain range would take them another two or three days at most. They walked in silence the entire day, stopping only for lunch and again for the night. Both of them were too preoccupied for conversation.