Safe? - Jay Halstead

Chapter 6

"I-I didn't know he would come in cause he never usually did. But he was angry nonetheless. He left quickly and rushed into his room before coming back to me, with a baseball bat in his hand" he ran his hands through my hair and leaned down

"I should've just gone to sleep earlier" I whispered before carrying on
"He walked forward and stopped at my desk before slamming the bat down on my ribs"
"He only hit me that once that night but it left me not able to move for about a week. It didn't get much better from that point but he would never hurt me regularly, just once a month but it would be a big one. Like the bat, a belt, knife. Stuff like that but eventually he told me why he was doing this. He said it was cause he missed mum but I didn't believe him, and he knew I didn't believe him so he laid it all out. He told me where he was going, he had a gang. A gang that sold drugs and he wanted me to be a low dealer doing only the small stuff." I looked up to Jay to search for some disappointment but none was there

Just sorrow

And anger

And frustration

And sympathy

But no disappointment

And that will change

"I refused. And he got mad.. so mad but he didn't do anything. He just walked out and that was it... but it wasn't"

"A few days after my sixteenth birthday I met someone called Trey. He was 18 and not the usual person your parents would want you around but I couldn't see that. To me I was blinded by my teen eyes, so much I couldn't see what was going on around me... we were only friends though, I was way too shy for something more so when he asked me to be his girlfriend I was happy.

Our relationship was good, we kissed and made out sometimes but I never wanted to go far with him. I knew that he wasn't the person that I would ever go that far with but I just didn't realise it.

But he did and one night when my dad was gone.. somehow he knew and came over. I was just reading so I was surprised when the book was thrown out of my hand and across the room but I was happy he was there. So happy I didn't realise that he was on top of me a second later. But when I did realise I tried to push him off, it didn't work and he went down on me.

I told him I didn't want to

I told him no but he said that he wanted to take us to the next step and he was gonna do it with or without my consent so I didn't answer. I didn't know what to do or say so I laid there while he touched me, while he raped me"

"Baby" he muttered, i didn't look at him but I pushed myself back into his chest to listen to his heartbeat for some comfort

"I need to carry on" he nodded allowing me to speak

"After that he thought him raping me made some kind connection. That I would want to do anything for him, it didn't. But I still listened. I was scared I guess, or I actually thought I loved him.. I don't know.

But one time he came over and sat me down before asking

'Can you sell something for me?' I was confused on what he was talking about and he had to clarify that it was drugs. At first I was gonna say no but I was so scared babe. I was so scared so I said yes. I did it for him, and he acted nice to me afterwards so I guess that's why I did it another 2 times. I wanted him to be nice to me. He was only nice to me when I did it so i wanted to do it more

But after that I couldn't do it anymore. I felt so guilty so I said no

He walked out. He left without another word just like my dad did before and I thought that would be the end of us till I saw him in my living room the next day

Talking to my dad

My dad

They both stopped their conversation as I walked in but then proceeded to tell me everything

My dad and my boyfriend were working together in some sort of gang and they wanted me to be apart of it. So trey was assigned to get with me and get me to to it

Rape wasn't part of the job description but I guess he just wanted to do it anyways" I laugh slightly shaking my head

"They also told me my dad ran a small gang but with little to no members. Just really people that owed him that never were able to get out of their debt. They didn't know each other so they couldn't play against him but he used them to his greatest advantages and the ones that did know each other were very loyal

They still wanted me to be apart of it though and wouldn't give up but this time if I said no they would punish me.

I took the punishment Jay, they would beat me up, chain me to the basement. I did for as long as I could but it got to a point where I couldn't anymore and I just did it. I sold them.. which was stupid cause I still got punished anyways until eventually my dad went to jail

He got charged of robbery and that was it. He got 15 years but he was okay with it. He knew everything would be the same when he got out

And it was like that for a while until 5 years later. I was still with Trey even though my dad was gone

I couldn't see my actual skin anymore Jay it was covered in bruises that I couldn't see my skin anymore. Trey was controlling me and I couldn't do it anymore

I called Brett. Who's my mothers niece that I had to cut off when she died and she tried to help me as much as possible. She got me enough to get me a plane ticket to Mississippi because I didn't want to risk getting found and having her with me so I built a small life there

I was training to be a paramedic

I had a side job

A house

I paid her back and it was going good

Until Trey found me

I knew he would. I wasn't gonna kid myself so I went on the run again. I had just finished my training by then but didn't peruse the job and instead got a smaller one in Texas. Ever since then I've been on the run, moving every few years.

But this time Trey didn't find me. Harry did. He got out of prison, probably changed his name and is coming for me" I sobbed putting my head in my hands
"He's coming for me Jay. He's gonna find Trey and they're both coming for me" he wrapped his arms around me and tightly held me against him

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry baby" I shake my head looking up

"What are you sorry for?"

"For what happened to you baby. You don't deserve that"

"Y-your not mad. Your a cop. I sold drugs. I was a dealer Jay" I whisper. An angry look crosses his face and he puts my head in his hands but none of his anger was directed at me

"You did nothing wrong baby. Do you hear me? Nothing is your fault and you are not to blame. You had no choice, you was trying to survive baby. And that's okay" I sob out and he pushes me back into him
"Like I said before, we will work this out together" he kisses the top of my head and wipes the tears fallen from my eyes