you're all i want | t.n, d.m

02

THEODORE - September 1998

"Why is she acting like that?"

I look away from the food scattered in the middle of the table to look at Blaise. Sounds of laughter and people talking surround us. The smell of delicious food wavers in the air, making my stomach grumble as I choose what to dine.

"What?" I raise an eyebrow at him before putting a good amount of mashed potatoes in my plate.

"Celeste." He says, nodding towards the Gryffindor table where Celeste is sitting with her brother and Dean Thomas. Atlas is pretty much zoned out, and Dean is leaned towards Celeste, carefully listening to what she's saying.

Atlas Williams - He's pretty much the Golden child in the Williams family. Excellent grades, kind and generous, there's pretty much nothing wrong with him. Despite Celeste and I having the same group of friends, I've never associated myself with her brother, because we don't really like each other anymore.

Dean Thomas. I was paired up with him for a few classes in 6th year. He's the type of guy you can't hate - tall, good-looking, a social butterfly, really. I feel like he and Celeste are a lot alike. Well, Celeste used to be as joyful as Dean.

"I don't know what you mean." I shrug my shoulders.

Blaise takes a bite of his chicken leg, nods and swallows. "She's been acting weird since we came back. As if she hated everyone and being here."

I sigh, "Give her some time."

I try to ignore the heavy feeling in my chest at the mere thought of Celeste being unwell. She's allowed to feel like this, but it feels as though some people can't understand her behaviour.

Blaise leans towards me to take a good look at Celeste and Dean. His shoulder is pressed to mine, so I shove him off. "Do you think there's something going on between them?"

"Who?" I frown, "Celeste and Dean?" I scoff, "No."

"Mmh." Blaise raises his eyebrows and dives back into his chicken leg, "It'd be surprising, to be honest."

I watch Celeste get up before kissing Dean's forehead. To me, their relationship is just platonic as hell. They've always been like this; acting more like siblings than anything else.

When Pansy takes a seat in front of Blaise, she glares at the both of us. My view gets blocked by her and I raise my eyebrows. "You two are so obvious."

"Your comment is very unnecessary right now, Parkinson." Blaise mumbles with a roll of his eyes.

Pansy opens her mouth and there it is: the usual and constant bickering between Blaise and her. Seeing them act like this makes me feel somehow happy. My focus on their banter gets interrupted by a shadow passing by.

Celeste comes up to our table and sits right in front me. "What?" She asks me in a soft yet confused tone as she notices my eyes fixated on her.

I shake my head, "Nothing."

She frowns and reaches over to grab the pint of water. She's silent whilst pouring down her beverage. She doesn't laugh when Blaise throws a pea onto Pansy's forehead. She doesn't glance my way when I nudge her foot with mine.

"Hey, Celeste." Draco says, taking a seat next to me.

"Draco." She sighs, not even bothering to look at him as she grabs salad from the center of the table.

I snort and Draco hits the back of my head.

***

"Come on, Williams! Why are you giving me this attitude?"

Celeste gives me a side eye look as we walk away from the Great Hall to our common room. "What attitude?"

I motion with my hand towards her body. "This one."

Celeste rolls her eyes. I hate it when she does that. She keeps walking, arms crossed over her chest with a scowl on her face. I can't help but laugh at her behaviour as she hastens down the hallway.

"Nott." She turns to me and I raise my hands in surrender. "This isn't funny, okay? People are looking at us like we're freaks. They hate us. And you're fucking enjoying this."

I roll my eyes. "They don't hate you. Stop being so dramatic." She huffs, and there's a pause as we stare into each other's eyes. "You know I'm right."

She shakes her head, "You're being ridiculous, Theo. People died because of us here. There was a fucking war in this very corridor and—"

I groan and grab her elbow to drag her against a wall where other students can't bump into us. She looks up into my eyes and I can see how lost and confused she is.

"I'm being ridiculous?" I say with a scoff, "No, it's you, Celeste. We didn't kill one person, and you know it. Stop fucking blaming yourself for what happened during the war. You've got to move on now."

My eyes are locked to hers. They are brown, but I always see a hint of honey in them. I've always wondered if they were completely honey in the sunlight.

Draco, Blaise, Celeste and I, we've known each other since we were kids. All of our parents have been friends since their Hogwarts years. I guess Atlas was friends with us until we started Hogwarts. As soon as he got placed in Gryffindor, he started distancing himself from us. I was disappointed, Blaise was sad to lose his best friend, and Draco couldn't care less.

We then met Pansy during our first year. Celeste and Pansy immediately became friends. Out of all people in our band, I was never close to Celeste until summer 1997, where everything changed. Celeste and I had to work together because of certain events, and somehow, we kind of grew closer. Became best friends.

If I had known she'd cause more trouble than I thought with my heart, I would have never agreed to befriend her.

"Get your shit together, Celeste."

Celeste rolls her eyes again. This witch, I swear.

"Don't roll your eyes at me." I mutter to her. She raises her eyebrows in a challenging way. "Unless I give you a good reason to."

"Bet." She just says, getting out of my grasp. I hadn't even realized I was still holding onto her arm.

I watch her walk away, ignoring my thumping heart.

The things she does to me... She'll ruin me.

I follow her to the common room. She's quiet, lost in her thoughts. It is odd, seeing her like this, because Celeste used to be happy all the time. She has always had a great reputation in this school; smart, funny, pretty, kind and opened to others.

I used to tease her when we were younger and tell her she has a Hufflepuff heart. She hated when I tormented her with this remark, but she would always end up smiling at the end of the day. But she's cunning and clever. She's full of ressources and she has dreams she'll achieve greatly one day.

"Celeste." I call after her, desperation laced in my voice. I just want to help her.

She slows down and barely turns her head to listen to me. "Yes, Theo?"

"Talk to me, okay? When you need to."

Her eyes drop to her shoes. She quickly looks my way before looking straight ahead again. I swear I can perceive a shift of colour in her hues — brown turning to golden as tears start to swell.

She breathes, "Don't play hero, Theo. I don't need to be saved."

Yes, you do, Celeste.