The Darkness of Space

Short Story

It's dark, endlessly dark. Staring at the endless void of space, is somewhat comforting, although terrifying. The light from my suit can't do enough to cut through such a thick darkness. Spinning here, out in space, it's like an endless dance with darkness itself. Science says that dark matter or dark energy exists here, but they only say that because it makes the equations add up. I need to experience it. I need to see or feel it if it exists. For me, this is just the endless void; nothing. The constant trickle of radiation slowly degrades my suit. I don't know how much longer I can live like this. A few days? I don't even know how much time has passed since the last time I saw my crew. My volumetrics say it's only been 1 hour, but it feels like a day. It's only a matter of time before my mind degrades along with my suit.

    Is it me? Do I see the light? No, it's just the sun. Maybe it's hopeful thinking, but I just want to end it all already. Should I remove my helmet? I remember hearing an article that space tastes like burnt steak. Would I have the same experience? My mind is filled with questions, only distractions to the need to live. Maybe it's primitive thinking, but I still have hope someone will save me.

    It's been a day according to my volumetrics. Some debris from the ship managed to reach me. Good thing it's not too fast or it will kill me in less than a second. Maybe it's me, or is it wrong that I record transcripts on my suit before I die? I always loved space. I wanted to experience it. Live in it. Never thought I'd spent my last minute in this endless void. Darkness, and nothing more.

    There's static in my helmet. No one's tried communicating with me yet. I've sent SOS signals in beeps so I'd save power. Maybe I won't make it. Earth looks beautiful from here. It's bright with the Sunlight reflecting it's image. The green, the water. Will humanity continue hurting this beautiful planet?

    It's been another day. I haven't touched a single drop of water or tasted the delicious filling of food. I long for a warm wood roasted piece of meat. Steak, pork, maybe meat with a nice heated portion of mashed potatoes with a lovely graving on top. 

    I'm slowly losing my mind. Another day has passed and I thought I heard someone speak in my helmet. No, I can't. No one should have to die like this.

    Facts I've read in articles flow through my mind. I don't think it's a good thing. Basing my life on facts. I live and thrive on the idea that emotions are just primitive. Whenever someone talks bad about me or anyone, I look at them in disgust. "Forget about them, they'll die eventually." A voice always whispered in my head. "Don't think of such primitive thoughts." "Continue your work". Was I schizophrenic? Insane? Psychotic? Has there always been something wrong with me? Or is the insanity coming from me being stranded here? I think the darkness is out to get me.

    I'm on my last few minutes of Oxygen. I've reached the peak of my limit here. Only a few minutes left, hopes destroyed, and no determination to survive. Is there no one that will help me? Please. I want to live.