Second Chances (Ricky + Nini)

chapter 40 - be a little braver than i had

"And first thought was to ... bludgeon me with a lamp?" Nini laughed. "It's a very nice lamp, by the way.. Pottery Barn?"

"Yes..." Ricky said clutching his chest dramatically. "I mean... HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?!"

"You didn't lock the door, it wasn't even fully closed." Nini explained. "And you were in the bathroom for how long? You should be thanking me.. Someone could've killed you, or stolen all your things, what with your excellent taste in lighting and furniture."

Ricky looked down sheepishly, his face was red with embarrassment, and quickly shoved the lamp aside. "Umm.. you hungry?"
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"Here, give me that." Ricky said taking the bubble tea off her hands, making Nini frown. But then he tore the plastic seal off his own cup and started transferring the tapioca bubbles into hers. "I know you want extra boba on yours."

Nini smiled and Ricky felt like he just accomplished some sort of mission. "You remember."

"Of course I remember." Ricky scoffed. "I've known you almost all my life... I've been in love with you since high school...  I know all these little things about you, Nini, and I don't think I'll ever forget. We were together for .... nine years."

Almost immediately, Ricky noticed the way Nini's expression changed. "Almost nine years." Nini said not meeting his eye. "You broke it off on our anniversary, remember?"

"Sorry." Ricky sighed. "We've never really talked about it, huh?"

"What?"

"The break up. Maybe this is a good time to hash it out,"

"Ricky.."

"Hear me out, Neens. I just think it will be good for us, moving forward, to talk about it. Just so that there are no unanswered questions." Ricky said. "Don't you ever wonder what happened?"

"How can you even ask that?" Nini looked at him now, eyes glassy. "It's a question I ask myself every. single. day. But I've managed to come this far without letting our break up drag me down. So I'm sorry if I'm not too excited to talk about it."

"Neens, I know I hurt you, and I'm lucky that you're here, talking to me, helping me with this project... but please let me explain." He took both her hands in his. "Please. My intention was never to hurt you."

"Ricky..." Nini warned him and withdrew her hands. "Don't. We have a good thing going here. We're working on our project and we're friends again. It's good."

"It's not enough. Please don't tell me that you haven't thought about it. We can't go back to being just friends after everything we've been through. I know I wan't more... don't you?"

"I've learned that what I want doesn't matter." Nini said getting up from her seat. "I'm not even sure you really want this... you did say you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, but then you changed your mind.. and where does that leave me?"

"I never-" Ricky stood up and got in her way. "I never said that I didn't want to marry you. I said I couldn't."

"Can't we just let bygones be bygones?" Nini walked towards the door, but Ricky grabbed her wrist, making her turn around. He could see the tears threatening to fall, and he hated that he was always the one making her cry. He would give anything to take back what he did.