Pandya Store - Shiva Raavi (ShiVi) FF- My North Star

Chapter 24

Tears spilled from her eyes, as Raavi nodded, hugging herself tightly to him, trembling and said, "theek se nahi bol sakta tha...Phir se bol, aur aache se bol, Raavi, main, Shiva Pandya, tujhe kabhi chod ke nahi jaaunga."

"Tu ek akeli insaan hai, jisne apne pati maafi maangte dekh gussa aagaya, Chipkali. Phir bhi, sun le, Raavi, main tujhe kabhi chod ke nahi jaaunga." said Shiva, holding her close, rubbing her back to soothe her.

After a few minutes, Shiva cupped her face, forcing her to look into his eyes. He looked contrite as he said, "I am really sorry Raavi. I have given you so much pain and tears...I don't deserve you at all," He kissed her hands, "But I want to clarify, never in a million years would I ever doubt your... character or your integrity."

He took a deep breath, "Six years ago, I should have begged for your forgiveness after I made all those insensitive remarks about your money when we were teenagers. But you know what happened, I had made my choice to not to go university, and I knew I had nothing else to offer you. I thought it was best you move on to better things in life and think your bhootnath was an insensitive jerk. The truth is, ever since our fight six years ago, I have been trying to stay away from you because I felt, no, I know I am not good enough for you."

"The reality is I have been pushing you away ever since then because I didn't want to hold you back in life. Despite my intentions, that day, referring to their big fight, I was jealous of your friends and seeing you with them..." Shiva trailed off. He kissed her forehead, continued, "I thought, you really shouldn't want to be married to... someone like me. I was scared one day you'd wake up and regret getting married to me... I thought its best you get rid of me, think of me as a bad phase and move on. Tujhe phirse apne aap se durr karne ke liye, main woh divorce papers bheje."

He looked at her, and humbly continued, "And even though you have known me all your life, Raavi, I don't have too much to offer you. Main zyaada padha likha nahi hoon, mujhe hadh se zyaada gussa ata hai, aur main tere friends ya Dev jaise bilkul nahi baan sakta. Main din baar inventory sambhalta hoon, bori utata hoon, aur bacche kuch samay main chote se league main soccer khelta hoon, which is far from any girl's ideal choice."

Shiva continued, "The truth is, I love every moment I spend with you, chipkali. I love that even though life has treated you harshly, you are so pure-hearted, optimistic and loving. Even though you live to bother the crap out of me, drive me crazy and there are days, I cant seem to have a single meal without fighting with you– as far as I am concerned, you are my north star, the axis of my world is always pointed at you, sweetheart. I have been burning in my love for you. I have always wanted to you be with me."

Raavi looked at him, shocked. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? "Say it again..." she said in a dazed voice. When he repeated himself, she asked, "Why didn't you ever say anything? Why...just Why?" unable to formulate anything intelligent or coherent.

"I thought... for sure I would be unable to keep you happy or ever be worthy of you. I have treated you badly, said things I don't mean at all, for which saying sorry and asking for forgiveness isn't enough and there isn't a way to really make it up to you in this lifetime. So, you may want to save this marriage... there is no pressure to do that. Just listen to your heart and what you want and make the decision---"

"I am in love with you, Shiva" said Raavi stunning him into silence. "I always have been in love with you, I never realized it until today, because I was confused and lost. And you are dead wrong about yourself. You have yourself to offer to me, which is more precious to me than anything else in this world. You were the one give me my earrings, right? If I can be your north star, then couldn't you think you'd be mine, as well?"