Melancholy

29| Just one more minute. Please

"Though I'm okay to forgive and forget as soon as you show me these plans that you and Luca must have been working on." I force a smile across my lips as I give Vivian a look.

"Look Viv. I love that you're very excited about this, I just don't think that we're doing something really big. Plus I'm not planning it. Luca is." Before I could finish my sentence Vivian is out the door knocking on Luca's. My eyes widen and I try to pull Vivian away though it's too late as Luca opens the door, seeming aggravated when he sees me.

"Luca, we're friends right?" Luca turns away from me to the speaking Vivian who doesn't wait for an answer to continue. "I mean well duh. We are gonna be family soon. In more than one way. Future brother in law." She casts a look to me and Dominic then one to Aria and Luca. Luca keeps his arm crossed following her eyes, his eyes narrowing on Dominic who doesn't say a word. A second passes through the two as if having a silent conversation until Luca looks away. When he turns to Aria his scowl drops and his face seems to relax as he sees her reddening cheeks.

"What do you want, Vivian?" Even as he speaks to her his eyes stay glued to Aria looking over her face that she tries to keep faced at the ground. My heart swelled as I watched them.

It warmed seeing those two get flustered by the other seeming to enjoy the others wandering gaze. As Luca fought off a smile seeing Aria fidget with her fingers her eyes cast down away from his prying eyes. God, they were perfect for each other.

Though my heart also closed in on itself as I watched the pair. A feeling of jealousy washes over me as I see the pair in such calm with each other. I could never have that. I was always set to live on my own. Fight my own battles. And put myself back together on my own.

"I heard that you're planning a birthday party. And I just wanted to pitch in as well." Luca's face snaps to me, disappointment etched on his face and he scoffs aloud. Any sort of relaxation gone as his entire demeanor hardens.

"Wow Arabella. You couldn't even listen to me for 5 minutes and you seriously thought it was a good idea to get Vivian to replace you." Eyes wander to me in confusion and I swallow the lump in my throat. He goes to close the door pausing briefly to look me in the eye. "You know, I never cared about my birthday. It didn't matter to me. I hated having a party on the day that I lost my twin. I despised it. I could never celebrate without you." The door shuts in our faces and my head whirls with guilt.

Without you, he said. He wanted a party but could never bring himself to without me. He waited for me. He waited to celebrate a day that not only was mine but his as well, for me. I hate what I've done. Why couldn't I just help plan his birthday?

Maybe in some twisted sort of way I could re-record over my last memories of that day. And someday be able to look over that day without feeling the pit in my stomach grow until I feel it pulling me down with it. The familiar feeling tugs at me and my stomach turns.

I grasp the closest thing to me needing some support, that being Dominic. I retract my hand almost immediately as if he was on fire averting my eyes from his gaze. In emptiness I dig my nails into my hand. From the corner of my eye I can see Dominic flinch at my retraction, his face faltering for the briefest second.

Almost as if it was never there.

I turn to Vivian who holds a solemn look on her face as she looks between Dominic and I. Her eyes zero in on Dominic in sympathetic disappointment but I ignore it. I had nothing to sympathize with.

"Thank you Vivian. I'm really happy that you wanted to plan my birthday. I really am. But I also don't enjoy celebrating my birthday because... I just don't. I think I'll just spend my birthday at home. You guys can have fun with Luca. He can't miss another birthday because of me."