Let Me Show You (WWE fanfic)

Chapter 7

A/N, I'm in college so the updates are gonna be slow, but I've suddenly got a lot of inspiration for this story so we'll see how long that lasts. Also slight trigger warning for all my kinky people who have experienced sub drop, it's no fun.

Forty-five minutes before Smackdown taping,
Tuesday, June 3rd, 2014

Roman's POV

When I left my daughter for the first time to go on the road, I hated myself for the first few weeks. I couldn't understand how I could just leave her like that. How I could watch her cry while I just walked out the door.

And even after that, I don't think I've ever hated myself more than I do now.

What the hell was actually wrong with me?

I'd gone to tell the bastard off for even thinking it was ok to touch me the way he had and instead... Instead I gave in. It was pathetic how he barely even needed to try and I was crumbling. Calling him... fuck. My head hurts. My chest hurts. I need to get out of this stupid arena. Dean and I don't need to be here, we're not on the card. I just had to find his ass and leave. We could get on the road. Get a head start on the drive. We had to get to Minneonapolis for Monday Night Raw. We could leave right now and no one would-

"Roman!" a familiar voice calls out to me, breaking me away from the chaos going on in my head. I blink a couple of times trying to focus on my surroundings. Where was I? When I'd left Randy's locker room I'd just been trying to get away as fast as I could, not paying attention to where I was actually going. And now my cousins were standing in front of me looking concerned and confused. I couldn't remember the last time I'd spoken to them. Definitely before all of this shit with Rollins happened.

"Shit uce you doin alright man?" Jimmy asks, or maybe it was Jey, my brain felt completely elsewhere I couldn't tell them apart.

"Uce" one of them shakes my shoulder and I can only shake my head in response. I can't right now. Out. I needed out.

Pushing past the two of them I quickly try to make my way back to the locker room Dean and I shared. I walk past other superstars trying to avoid making any sort of eye contact with anyone. When I get to the door I immediately open it and shut it behind me. My body falls back against the door and my eyes close as a shaky breath escapes me. I don't know what's happening. I've never been one to have panic attacks and what happened was hardly something to have a panic attack over. He didn't force me to do anything. He merely told me to and I agreed. I obeyed.

My body shudders at the thought.

Never in a million years did I see myself in a situation like this. With another man touching me, telling me what to do, making my brain feel like a void of nothingness. The way my body reacted to him, to the pleasure he was giving me. I had no control over it. And I liked that. Fuck I loved it. And the bastard knew that. There was no way for me to pretend that I didn't.

I feel sick. Exhausted. I need... I need...

"Ro?"

My eyes shoot up as my body flinches at the sound of the familiar voice calling out to me. Dean looks at me from his spot on a chair, his hair is a mess and he looks about as tired and over everything as I do.

"Are you ok?" he asks me. It's unsettling to hear his voice sound so small, so meek. Dean was usually loud, annoying and singing way too much. Now I could barely get two words out of him, and when I did he sounded so lost and broken.

I'm over here bitching about getting a blowjob from a guy and Dean hasn't been ok since everything first happened.

"Yeah I'm... I'm alright" I answer slowly, shifting myself a bit so I'm standing up straight. "Are you?" I ask him in return. He lets out a humorless laugh and avoids my eyes as he turns back toward the table next to him. His leg bounces underneath him, his eyes are zeroed in on his hands.

"Can we leave?" Dean asks quietly. It's the only response I get and if anything I'm glad we seem to be thinking the same thing. When I don't immediately respond his head turns to look at me. He doesn't say anything but his eyes are begging me to let us get out of here. How can I say no to him? Especially when I need to get out of here too, before my brain explodes.

"Yeah... yeah let's go" I tell him, grabbing my bag and his before he even stands.

—--------- —- —-- —- —

Beers. Burgers. An unhealthy amount of fries. This is the way.

Dean wasn't smiling but his body was relaxed. He took a shower and his hair was a mess of wet curls on his head. He lay in the other bed of our hotel room sipping on his beer while he ate. He seems content. Not happy. But content, and I think that's the best I'm going to get today. Maybe for the next few weeks.

"So" Dean starts, his mouth full, "Wha jup wi joo?" I raise an eyebrow at him as he turns to look at me expectantly, still chewing on his burger.

"Dean don't talk with your mouth full" I tell him, shaking my head. His gaze turns somber for a moment as it falls to look down at his lap. He finishes chewing his food and mutters a quiet "sorry" before he just stares down at his beer bottle. I frown watching him.

"You keep your eyes there unless I tell you otherwise."

My body shudders a bit at the memory. The anger I'd felt when Randy said it. The way my body felt when he told me he'd punish me if I didn't listen. Fucking hell what is wrong with me?

I shake my head and break myself out of my thoughts, Dean, we're talking to Dean.

"It's ok man I just couldn't understand you and it's kinda gross, we always tell you that."

We being Seth and I.

I let out a heavy sigh. I was just failing left and right today. Seth always told him that, I just agreed and it became a habit of me telling him that too. Stop talking with your mouth full, stop yelling we're sitting right next to you, don't wander off and get yourself into trouble. It was like talking to a child sometimes. But it didn't matter because it was just Dean, and we loved him.

"What is up with you though?" Dean asks carefully after we sit in silence for a moment. I give him nothing but a look of confusion in response and he just rolls his eyes. "You came into the locker room looking like someone ran over your puppy and you let us go home even though you like being at every show... for whatever reason" Dean mumbles the last part but I still hear it. He was always louder than he meant to be.

Still. I don't know how to even begin answering him. I can't tell him. Especially since what happened was just a one time thing. It would never be happening again. No matter how good it might have felt in the moment, it just wasn't me.

At least I think so. Fuck I don't know. I don't want to dwell on how it felt, I don't want to dwell on the fact that I want to do it again. That I want to show up at his locker room on Monday and just... stop thinking. Just... be.

The moments after I felt like I was nearly floating. Everything was ok. It was like my brain hadn't fully registered what happened, it just knew it felt good.

"Roman!"

Dean's voice snaps me out of my thoughts yet again and I turn my head to look at him. His eyebrows are furrowed as he tries to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. I wish I knew myself. Our eyes meet for a moment but neither of us say anything.

Before I can register what's happening Dean is out of his bed and his arms are around me. Dean was pretty big on physical touch but he wasn't really much of a hugger. My arms wrap around him and I hold him close. For a moment the world feels right side up again. I wish we could just stay in it.