Abyss of the Shrine Maiden

The End of Warrior and Assassin

So when she feels the finger retreat, she whines, letting him know she wants him to keep it there. She hears a chuckle and the return of the finger. Smiling, she opens her eyes and glances at the real-life form of her partner. Joshua sits on the side of the bed, looking down at her with a faint smile. "You're back."

"Mhm."

"Is your dad fine?"

"He is. Or will be. What about you? Suko told me what happened, but how are you now?"

Koharu turns away to the wall on her left, hiding half her face in her pillow "...You aren't going to kill me?"

"No, although Suko encouraged it. 'She died once. She should be used to it.' I almost agreed." Koharu frowns and grumbles back, causing Joshua to laugh. His hand reaches over her, holding an infrared thermometer, and points it at her. After a beep, he retracts it. "Hmm, ninety-nine point nine degrees. Still a little feverish."

"Ninety-nine point…"

"Excuse me, that's somewhere over thirty-seven and a half degrees Celsius. I forget I'm American trash… Well, continue to get some rest. I'll leave the door open so--"

"No." Koharu turns over, raises, and holds Joshua from behind. She's practically pressing herself into him while holding him as tight as her strength will allow her. Along with her loose clothing, she realizes how the situation looks, but she can be embarrassed about it later, if at all considering their past. But she doesn't want to spend another moment apart from him, sick or otherwise. "...Stay."

"But…"

"Please… I need you." She realizes how that sounds, but she really means it. Call it selfish, but she doesn't want him to go anywhere, and she doesn't want him to see anyone else. She doesn't want anyone else to occupy his attention, and, if she must really be honest, she just wants him to herself forever. But once again, that's the selfishness of herself from SAO, not the girl who lives in the current world. Koharu Hanao is too ill to care either way.

And it seems Joshua has lost the will to fight her. He turns his head, nodding to her. "Okay...but only for a while. I'm not going anywhere."

"Still… I don't want to lose sight of you." She releases him and lays back down. Scooting over, she pats the space on the right side of the bed where he sits. With some hesitation, he slides underneath and throws the cover over them. Once he's settled, Koharu scoots towards him, placing her head underneath his chin and holding his waist. He shifts, but he doesn't retreat. His arm cradles her black hair and combs it lovingly, at least to her.

"Why so needy, Ko?"

"Because… I feel like you should hate me."

"Huh?"

Koharu holds Joshua closer but doesn't look up to him. "I… I don't want to do this here. I envisioned we'd have this conversation like on the school rooftop, but… Why don't you hate me?"

"Why should I?"

"Because I just inserted myself into your life like I wasn't absent for two and a half years. And even now, I'm living a lie. I'm living the life Koharu the Kindred Assassin wanted, a life that may have been more real if you and I escaped SAO together. But now, she's playing catch up, and I, Koharu Hanao, have done nothing to stop her. I...cannot help but feel guilty about it, because, in all honesty, it shouldn't be me with you right now. If I weren't here, you'd be with Liz or Sinon or whoever right now, not me. And I bet they hate me for taking their chance away, especially Liz. She loves you, the real you, while I cling to the other side of you, the virtual hero I only got to know, and that's two years older and very different.