A History of Retribution

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A great wall of wood surrounds both of us, leaning slightly inward with their branches giving the impression of a dome with a small hole above the fire's smoke to funnel outwards

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A great wall of wood surrounds both of us, leaning slightly inward with their branches giving the impression of a dome with a small hole above the fire's smoke to funnel outwards.

Lana pulls her fingers through her hair, stopping midway because of the knots. Her mouth is pressed into a straight line.

"I have questions, Lana." It's hard to control the vibrations within my voice. It's hard not to scream or cry. I've been lied to by her. I always thought of her as safe.

"I'm sure you do." That's all she says. Her lips are pressed together. Silent. Waiting. Hands folded in her lap, eyes focused on the burning wood.

"I'm sure you do? That's what you have to say to me?" The Wild sounds herself forward. It's getting harder to control her nature within myself. There's a fear that she will gain control over me.

Lana's eyes shift from the fire to my chest before snapping down, shoulders round.

"Your teachings were all double-sided." Molars grind.

"My teachings were exactly what you wanted to learn, Retribution." Lana sits straighter.

"What does that mean, Retribution?" I sit straighter, spine still.

"I taught you your interests. How to get back at the wolves who wronged you." Her entire demeanor is calm. I can feel my blood start to pulse through thin veins.

"That's not true." Almost yelling it out.

"It's not true? Your cousins are a direct reflection of your teachings.You played unfairly with them. Why would I teach you what I know when you would have killed them for some slight against you?" The sound of this starts to curve the top of my spine.

"I would have never killed them." Fingers plunge into the moss I'm sitting on. The wind hits the branches, wood rubs against the wood. The fire rises with an assault of heat on the skin.

"You would have in a fit of rage. That is the truth. You have taken my teachings of healing and twisted them into your Retribution." There's a sadness in her voice. Have I always known this sadness?

"I tried to teach you healing. I tried to teach you another path. You chose a path of Retribution towards your own family. Towards your mate." She levels herself towards my body.

"Stop. I was a pup then." Something is being torn open inside of me. Something raw, that bleeds.

"You've never been accountable to yourself and who you have hurt in the process."

"What teachings have you been accountable to, Lana?" Flinging words out.

"Many teachings. First, I was taught the Moon's healing. Then it was Nature's teaching. Now, I am my own teacher. I am now accountable to myself." She doesn't fling her words out as I did. She's patient.

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