Just Good Friends

Chapter 67

"Don't even dare. I'm nothing like that hoe." Sam shoots me a glare.

"Stop calling her that," I reply.

"And you're still defending her..."

"No, I'm not. I'm telling you stop calling girls out their names, no matter how angry you are."

"I can call her whatever I want," Sam grumbles.

I shake my head and chuckle in disbelief. "Seriously... how long are you gonna be stubborn?"

Her jaw drops. "I'm not stubborn!"

"Yes, you are. You're such a hardhead. Even as kids, you'd always have to have your way; nobody could tell you wrong or they'd face your wrath," I chuckle while reminiscing about the old times. "When are you gonna grow up?"

"I am grown..." she pouts while crossing her arms over her jean jacket.

I look at her with sympathetic eyes and say in a quieter, calmer voice, "Then act like it... because I miss my best friend. I miss texting you every day, and hanging out every Friday for Bestie Days, and beating you in video games, and eating as many snacks as we want until our stomach hurts. I don't know where we fell off, but I'll take some of the blame..."

She looks up at me with innocent eyes as I continue speaking.

"I shouldn't have put my girlfriend before our friendship. I'll apologize for that. I also should've cut ties with Dana way before she had the chance to insult you and Jake the way she did at the bowling alley." I nod and gulp. "I think my problem is that I want everyone to get along. I want all my friends to like each other, but that's not always possible. I see the best in people and give them so many chances before I cut them off, but in doing that, I lose my closest friends... who I couldn't imagine living in this world without..."

As I spoke from the heart, I felt my eyes filling with tears. I don't cry that much, but I think holding in all of these emotions and dealing with friend drama and pressures about school has been overwhelming. And I didn't share my struggles with other people, because the one person that I could talk to was mad at me. So now that I'm sharing all of these feelings, regrets, and hopes... it's like a much-needed release.

I look toward the ceiling in an attempt to prevent the tears from flowing, then turn away from Sam and hold my head down in my lap while covering my face with my hands.

"Oh-- are you... crying?" Sam asks, sounding just as surprised as I feel. "What the hell..."

I hear her scuffle around my room before I feel a hand on my back and something soft grazing my hands.

"Here. Why are you crying?"

I take the tissue without looking her way and smash it against my eyes, letting the liquid drain into the tissue. Then I wipe my nose and throw the used tissue into the garbage. Still looking down while sniffling, I rub my eyes with the back of my hands. Sam's hand rubs my back.

"I haven't seen you cry since elementary school..."

There was a pause as we just sat in silence, trying to process this moment.

"I guess you were holding in a lot, huh?" Sam says. "...I'm sure my attitude didn't help."

Another pause as I finally sit up straight and stare at the wall while trying to gain my composure.

"I'll admit that I'm stubborn. I didn't want all these girls around you because I knew you were better than them. But I'm... sorry... if it felt like you couldn't hang out with whoever you wanted because of me. Even though I didn't agree with you and Julie, and you and Dana... I should've considered your feelings." She clears her throat and stops rubbing my back. "I just want you to be happy..."