Eight Words Love Story

Chapter 20

He's not here to do any of those.

"Is there any chance you'll stop me, Moren? Hindi mo pa rin ba 'ko pipigilan?"

There's hope lining his face, still asking me to stop him from leaving. Pero buo na ang desisyon ko.

I breathed my pain. Umiling ako. "We'll meet again. By that time, you'll thank me I didn't stop you. You'll thank me I let you fly. You'll thank me I let you go."

Like a statue, he didn't move a bit. Nakatingin siya sa akin habang dahan-dahang pinalalabo ng tubig ang kislap ng mga mata niya.

I wanted to keep my face dry but maybe I'll let myself do it one last time, be weak and cry.

"Ang hirap mong iwan. I love you that I'm willing to lose everything just to have you but it's unfair how you're willing to lose me without hesitation."

Kung alam niya lang. Kung gaano ko siya gustong pigilan at akuin na parang akin. But that's selfish when I know I'm going to leave him too.

"Bata pa tayo, Ross. Mahal mo 'ko, mahal kita." I paused. I didn't plan to confess like this. "Pero hindi naman tayo mabubuhay ng pagmamahal. Hindi tayo mapapakain ng pagmamahal."

Tumingala siya sa langit. He puckered his lips and forced his tears to stop. He lowered his head before asking me.

"Will you wait for me?"

Tumango ako, paulit-ulit at sigurado.

"Will you be okay? Will you be happy? Cheerful as you are? Will you be that Moren?"

Puno ng luha ang mata kong tumango. "I will be a better Moren. Para kapag balik mo, hindi ka ma-disappoint." I chuckled.

"Kelan ba 'ko na-disappoint sa 'yo?"

"Ang pangit mo umiyak," ani ko. "Mamamatay na ba 'ko? Matagal pa 'ko dito sa mundo. Kailangan ko pang malaman kung ano ang hinahanap ng puso ko. At kung mawala man ako nang hindi mo alam, huwag ka mag-alala. Dadalawin kita sa panaginip."

Humakbang ako papalapit para punasan ang luha niya. "Galingan mo, ha, Captain."

"Ang galing mo manakit, wala kang katulad."

"Tandaan mo'y sinabi mo, ako ang una mong isasakay sa eroplanong ikaw ang kapitan."

His forehead knotted as he nodded, still crying. He pulled me for a hug, a very tight and warm hug. Niyakap ko siya pabalik habang tinatapik ang likuran dahil mabigat ang paghikbi niya.

"I'll follow my waves and you'll draw your clouds. Both we'll make everyone stare in awe that no matter how vast the spaces in between us, we can still keep going on. Maybe apart... but in synch."

Nang humiwalay siya sa akin ay mas lumakas ang pag-iyak niya. I held his cheeks and loomed closer for a kiss. Nauna ang pagpikit ng mata niya bago ang pagdampi ng labi ko sa kaniya.

"Soar high, fear no heights," I said.

He nodded. May inilabas siya sa bulsa. Isang kuwintas na shell ang pendant. Mahina siyang tumawa bago isuot iyon sa akin.

"Lagi mong binabanggit 'yung dagat kapag masaya ka. You said it's beautiful and calming. Pero lagi mo rin 'yung binabanggit kapag malungkot ka. You said it's lonely and hopeless. You didn't tell me, but I saw how you love it."

Huminga siya nang malalim. He planted a kiss on my forehead matapos iyong isuot sa akin.

"Go with the waves no matter how big they are. Fear no depth, my love."

Maybe that time, it was enough. We understand each other. I let him go, he left.

Pinagmasdan ko ang likuran niyang unti-unting lumiliit sa paningin ko. Hindi na niya ako nilingon, hindi na siya bumalik para pilitin akong pigilan siya. He kept on walking and leaving me behind.