I'm Only A Fool For You [Kai Havertz]

•Chapter 18

•••

"Who is coming?" I ask her as I take some soda from the fridge.

"A few of our old friends and Timo with the Chelsea boys and also some lads from the England national team. Oh, and also some old friends of Timo's, a few have come here from Germany, really crazy" she says while texting someone on her phone.

"Wow, that's a lot of people" I take a sip of my Ice-Tea and then look at the clock. "They'll be here soon, I think".

"Yeah, Timo just sent me that he is on his way" she holds up her phone with the message.

•••

"Come in!" shouts Claire a little further away, already half drunk. The music is playing loudly and there are lots of people. Lots and lots of people.

I am standing in a corner somewhere, looking for Kai.

"Are you looking for someone?" I hear a voice behind me say. It is a boy about 18-19 years of age with dark brown hair. He doesn't wait for my answer and continues "I'm Jude, uhm, Jude Bellingham" he says somewhat shyly. 

"Hey, I'm Aurelia and yes I'm looking for someone. Do you happen to know Kai Havertz?"

He seems distracted and looks into the distance behind me. I want to look behind me too, until I feel a familiar arm over my shoulders.

"I think you found him" Jude says as he lets out a laugh. "I'd better go, it's been nice getting to know you" he says a little nervous. I look up at Kai, who is looking at him strange. Jealousy? I frown for a moment "Yeah, I'll see you later Jude!" and smile at him.

"Seriously Kai, don't tell me you are jealous of an 18 year old boy".

He narrows his eyes at me. "I'm not jealous, but I didn't come here for that. How does Claire know we're together?"

"Come with me" I take his hand and lead him to a place where there are not many people.

"She only knows today and I didn't want to tell anyone, but she is my best friend and she already knew somehow. She had also promised not to tell anyone".

"And how do you know Claire knows we're together?" I ask him after the explanation I just gave. 

"When I came in she took me aside and said that she knew and she wasn't going to tell anyone. Can I tell Timo? Since Claire knows. If only those two know, there is nothing wrong" he nods his head to Timo who is dancing and twirling his shirt. 

"Uhm, maybe not now, since he's a bit... drunk. Tell him when he's sober" I answer him.

He looks at me with such a strange expression "What?" I ask him a little irritated. 

"Nothing, you're just very beautiful" he puts a strand of hair behind my ear and gently brushes my jaw with his knuckles. Only now do I realise how close we have become.

I stare into his eyes, those eyes in which I easily get lost. "As much as I want to kiss you now, here is not the ideal place" I mutter as I still look at him in these beautiful eyes.

"As much as I would like to, you are right" we both take a step back. "Hey, Aurelia, come here!" shouts Ben, waving his hand. 

That was a bit of a scare, hopefully he didn't see our intimate moment.

Kai walks towards his German friends before giving me a wink. I just shake my head and walk towards Ben.

"How are you?" Ben asks me, because he hasn't seen me for a long time. "I'm fine and how are you?"

"I am doing well! Oh, this is Trent, John, Kyle, Kalvin, Declan, Raheem, Phil and Emile" he says as he points to who is who, one by one.

"That's a lot of names, but hey guys" I say as I look at everyone individually.

They all greet me back and soon we have a conversation.

"Really? Declan can do a footballskill with his bum?" I say with disbelief. Phil has just told me this and I break out in laughter. "And you're telling me there's a video of it?" I say between laughs.

Trent shows me the video. "Wow, that's really impressive!" I still can't believe it he can do that. Declan really looks like a funny guy.

"Yes, I know, I'm very talented" says Declan, who then also starts to laugh.

This conversation is very nice, but the glances Kai is throwing at me from the other side of the room are not helping me to concentrate.

I quickly grab my phone and send Kai a message. Don't look at me like that. Take a picture, it will last longer. 

I press send and look at Kai who grabs his phone. We make eye contact and he shakes his head after reading my message.

I already have lots of pictures of you, just be careful my love x  he responds.

I blush at Kai's text message and continue listening to what Emile has to say.

•••

I am now talking to Claire, who has recovered a bit from all the alcohol she has consumed.

"So I can't start shouting that you and Kai are together?" she asks me, still drunk. And I thought she had recovered from the alcohol.

"No, I want to keep it quiet so-"

 She starts yelling, so I quickly hold my hand over her mouth. 

"Shut up, stop shout-" I try to say until my phone goes crazy with notifications.

I take it out of my bag and see something I'd rather not see. 

"I don't think you can keep it quiet now" Claire says as she turns her phone and shows the Instagram story of Olivia, Kai's ex.

There she has shared a message from a gossip account that has a photo of Kai and me at the beach this morning with the words: I can confirm that this is indeed @aurelia.brown xx.

I may die, or start to cry, take a trip around the world and never come back.

"This bitch, I'm going to remove her fake eyelashes from her face and-" Claire is suddenly sober again and starts talking angrily, but I stop her talking "Maybe violence is not the best idea" I mutter while my head is bursting with thoughts.

"You know, in some cases violence is the answer and in case you didn't know, this is one of those cases" she clarifies. 

Although it sounds tempting to ruin her lashes, it is not really the best idea and certainly not something I would do.

"Fuck, what can I do. It's not as if I can delete everything, because by the time I do, everyone will already know" I run my hands through my hair in frustration. 

"Your account is private, so that's a good thing. And I'm afraid you're going to have to make your relationship public, because ignoring the subject is even worse" she says in a worried tone.

I sigh and look at her "But I don't want them to know who I am at all".

 I look around and see many people from the party looking at their phones and at Kai and me. This is scary.

How could this happen? I am just afraid that the media will ruin our relationship and our lives.  

It went from not telling anyone at all to the whole world knowing about it. I feel guilty, this evening was supposed to be good for Claire and Timo.

Author's note:

This story is not set in covid-19 times, so don't worry.

I painted with my bestie today and it was fun haha. I have nothing else to say, bye!

Lots of love

-Camille