Step of Faith

Chapter XIV: Revenge and Forgiveness

"You think this is funny?" he points at the post-it-covered wall.

"Yeah," I try to hold my laugh in.

"Every single guy you've kissed or slept with? Seriously?" His face is priceless.

"And given a blowjob to," I correct him and it's even possible he gets even angrier.

"You're insufferable," he huffs as he takes all the papers down.

"Now we're even," I shrug my shoulders.

"Even?" Theo's head turns to me.

"Mhm. All I have to know now is if you want this to go on, whatever we had, or you'd rather see other people. You decide, I just have to know now."

"I-" he cuts himself off and sits on his bed.

"Yes?" I urge him to talk to me.

"I don't know how to do this," he mumbles.

"Don't worry me either," I put my hand on his shoulder.

"No. I don't know how to do this whole talking thing. I'm not good with feelings and then you're here trying your best and I push you away because it's creeping me the fuck out. And not in a bad way but no one has ever put effort into me so I don't know how to do this without hurting you every single time I open my mouth," he takes my hand off.

I remember the ring that's still on my finger. The ring I haven't taken off. The unspoken promise that he couldn't say out loud. All of the dots are connecting now.

"Okay, then we're going to keep trying. I thought you didn't care about me because you said one thing and then you said something completely else," I sat down next to him.

"Fuck, Blair. I care, okay? I care a lot. You have to understand that I'm not asking for forgiveness, I know I'm in the wrong but Sean seemed so fucking sure about what he was saying that I genuinely believed him. So I am sorry, I didn't mean anything I said," he looks at me, his cheeks flushed from stress.

"Sean and I haven't talked for three weeks, you have nothing to worry about," I take his big hand in mine.

"Why are you not mad? I was waiting for the chest punches and everything," his lips slowly show traces of a smile.

"I had some time to think and I chose to talk about it instead of ignoring and being unnecessarily mad. But you deserved it that time," I wink at him and he smiles even wider.

"How about from now on I actually talk to you before going all Gray on you? And we tell each other the truth all the time, no miscommunications," Theo looks at me.

"That seems like a great idea," now it's my turn to smile.

"I'll start. That girl I brought to the diner is actually my tutor, I'm an idiot in Spanish," my mouth falls open, "I bribed her to come with me to the thing to make you jealous. She has a boyfriend."

"Oh my god," I laugh.

"Yup, it seemed like a better idea when I came up with it," he nods.

"I slept with Dean," I mumble.

"What?" he laughs, "When?"

"After our fight and I- wait, you're not mad?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"Skates, please. I was a dick to you, I'm just glad you didn't sleep with JJ," he hits my shoulder.

"What the fuck?" I swear I was in the twilight zone.

"Calm down. He already told me," he gives me a light smile.