Waves (Twilight)

Chapter 38

"Have i ever told you that i'm so lucky to have you as my sister because you're amazing. and you're right i am scared. Hell i'm terrified. I just.. I really like him and i don't want him to not feel the same. You know?" I say while shrugging, to which bella nods. Of course she understands me. She always has. and always will. She understands feelings have never been an easy thing for me to talk about. Feelings are scary. I have a hard time trying to express what i feel.

"Look why don't we just start with something simple. Like maybe texting the poor boy back. I'm sure he's very worried about you." She suggests while grabbing my phone off of the table and hands it to me. I bite my lip "Yeah i doubt that. I mean it been only like an hour, he's probably not even near his phone." I say shrugging at her. I'm trying to act cool about it but i'm seriously freaking out inside. "Its not like he's out with a search party looking for me." The doorbell goes off right as i finish my sentence followed by continuous knocking. I furrow my eyebrows and look from the door back to Bella and dad. It couldn't be, could it? Dad clears his throat before standing up and heads over to the door. Bella and i quickly follow behind him, i run over to the stairs and sit down on them. Meanwhile Bella sits on the couch closest to me. We both lean to get a good look at the door as dad opens it.

I raise my eyebrow at Bella after i hear a couple of different voices. She shrugs and tries to lean over more. Its when dad backs up that i hear a voice i recognize. Seth. I sigh as dad calls me to the door. Bella grabs my hand as i pass by and pulls me down to her " And you said he couldn't possibly send out a search party but yet there it is." I glare at her with fake anger before standing up and quickly fix my hair. I slowly walk over to dad and smile at him. He looks from the group in front of us then back to me before patting my back and walking away. I sigh before turning to the door. There standing huddled close to the door were my favorite people. My eyes meet Seth first who seemed to be fighting for the front with Paul, who looked gorgeous of course. Then Embry and Leah who both honestly seemed annoyed with the two of them fighting with each other. Lastly was the beautiful Emily who just seemed happy to be out and about.

Emily rushes forward and pulls me into a hug before whispering "I'm so glad your okay. We were all worried about you. Paul told us you weren't answering him which is so unlike you but then you weren't answering any of us back so we thought...Well it doesn't even matter now. You're okay!" I squeezed her back while quickly blinking the tears away. I didn't know they all messaged me too. I never knew how much me ignoring him affected them all. Stupid me i should have looked through my messages. I got them all worried for nothing.

"I'm so sorry i worried you. I wasn't thinking with everything going on. I'm sorry." I say as we separate. Seth runs forward and hugs me tight before planting a kiss on my forehead. Which just shows how much taller he is then me which is so not fair by the way, I smile over to Embry and Leah before looking at Paul who seemed relived but also looked slightly angry. Which i totally understand. I send the most apologetic look i can towards him. He just looks at me before turning around and heads towards the woods. 

"Paul!" I shout out after him and walk out a little but he just ignores me and continues on. I sigh before looking down. Leah comes forward and gives me a small hug before her and Embry follow behind him. I really screwed this one up. Thank you stupid mind for making me so insecure.

Emily squeezes my hand pulling my attention back to her. "He's not mad at you, he was just extremely worried." She says obviously reading my thoughts.

"I'm so stupid. I was being selfish and i only thought about myself. I should have looked at my phone and answered at least one of you but no i just had to ignore everything." I say while pacing.

I stop and pull my phone from my pocket and scroll through the messages. My eyes begin to watering as i read through some of the messages. Emily rubs my arm as she says "Its not your fault okay. All that matters is that you are okay, He'll come around."

I sniffle and wipe my face before looking up back towards the woods, hoping that maybe he would come out and hug me. But he doesn't and even though i know its because i messed everything up my heart still breaks a little. I sigh before turning and walk back over to the door. Seth grabs my arm as i walk past and pulls me to a stop. I look up at him in question.

"No ma'am, you do not get to go in there and sulk, we are going to hang out at Emily's." He says with a big smile that can make anyone happy. I shake my head slightly and tug my sleeves down.

"You know i cant do that. He's going to be there and i promise you i'm the last person he wants to see right now." I say looking over at Emily who shakes her head at me.

"Are you kidding me, mad or not you are exactly who he wants to see. He's not gonna act like this forever. He just needs to cool off, Besides tonight is the bonfire and i wanted your help with baking." She says with a hopeful look on her face. This must be the bonfire paul was telling me about. He was really excited for me to come. There no way i can go now, it would just be to hard. Emily glares at me before walking over and grabs my arm.

"Please say you'll come. Pleaseeee. I promise you'll have so much fun." She says bouncing slightly. I think of the pros and cons before finally giving in. I smile softly and nod my head. Seth and her both jump up and dance around. I giggle and shake my head. These two are really something. I tell them to give me a minute and run back inside. I walk over to Bella who is still sitting on the couch but is now currently on her phone. I walk over and lean on the backside of the couch.

"Everything okay?" She questions turning around slightly. I sigh and shake my head.

"Paul's mad." I say softly. She shakes her head before saying

"What do you expect. He was worried. Edward would have my head if i ever pulled what you did on him." She sighs before continuing "He'll come around, okay." I shrug before standing up and stretch a little. "I'm going over to Angela's house for a little bit today, Do you want to come with, maybe get your mind off of everything?" She suggests standing up as well.

I shake my head before saying "No ill be fine. Emily and Seth want me to come over to help bake or something, you go and have fun. Tell ang i said hi." I finish with a small smile. She nods before coming around to hug me. After that she walks up the stairs to get dressed i assume. I rub my eyes before grabbing my bag and walk into the kitchen. I lean against the door and cross my arms.

"Is it okay if i go hang out at Emily's today?" I ask smiling at him. He smiles back big before nodding. "Yes of course sweetie, go have some fun." He says placing his newspaper back down on the table. I thank him before walking over to give him a hug. I kiss his head before walking out the door. "Be Careful!" I hear him shout behind me. I call back that i will before shouting bye to Bella and head outside. I walk over to Emily's car and get in the back. I scoot in the middle before buckling. Emily's smiles back at me before staring up the car and begins to drive off. I lean my head back onto the seat and close my eyes. What if he stays mad at me forever? I should have just told him what i knew. I should have just talked to him. Now everything is just screwed up.