31 December, 20xx

Saturday, 31 December 20xx

Jim's Diner, 01.00 PM

"Go ahead, have a seat"

"Stop being so formal, it's like you don't know me! It's been soo long, bestie, how are you?"

"I've been well, thank you. and don't call me that it makes me feel like one of those TikTok teens"

She gave a slight smile and gestured the waiter to take her orders; she makes it clear that the bill will be split. "I know you don't like that term. Looks like I can still get under your skin"

He sighed and chuckled for a bit," I guess you do. You know why I called you to meet, right?"

It was her turn to sigh. "I wish I could pretend I didn't, but seeing how you were looking at me when I walked in, I think a good assumption can be made. You have that look, I don't know how to explain it. It's the same look you gave me the night we, uh, decided on things.

"Oh yeah? and what does that look like?"

"Like someone with a million words to say. Maybe a million-and-one. I used to be on the receiving end of that look when you'd sing to me. But you'd also give me that look the nights we fought. "

He took a sip of coffee. It was black, with no sugar or cream/milk added; he didn't like it that way, but he felt he needed the caffeine and the bitter taste. He'd stayed up all night rehearsing what to say, what to tell her, just what to think. Placing the cup back to the saucer, he proceeded to deliver his rehearsed, Redbull-infused speech about how he wanted to rekindle their previously failed relationship; how he couldn't bring himself to move one, and how he had been unable to find anyone. It was a long and lengthy rant, with compliments here and there and everywhere, but she knew this was coming; they dated, after all. He's always had a way with words: They help him hide from his true feelings. The thing is, he knew that.

Honestly, he's dealing with his own issues. Personal health, bad habits he wants to curb, a life that's upside down, a messy room, constant lack of sleep, and a massive identity crisis. Tumbling down through life like Alice down the burrow he's clutching at anything and everything that could give him a sense of familiarity, calm, and reason.

"Sometimes it's best to remember things for what they were, memories. We had a wonderful time and I don't bear grudges towards you." She spoke softly, emphatically, as though a wrong word would shatter him to pieces. "I loved you. And I genuinely believed that you loved me. And if you told me you loved me now I'd believe you too! You're a good man, but all those fights, those disagreements, those petty conversations, and snarky replies; I wasn't in the headspace to deal with those things back then. Now? Maybe. But I don't want to get hurt a second time to find out. I want to be your friend, I do? Is it not possible? Just two exes to be good, platonic friends? I'm sure I've seen a movie or two where it works out, right? I-"

She stopped herself, seeing the man before her with a defeated, broken look. He noticed that SHE noticed, and immediately straightened his posture and shot a forced smile. He knew what was coming, but as brooding and pessimistic as he'd pretend to be (Because the movies made it look cool), he was an optimist at heart. And somewhere in that heart of his, hope lingered. Well, not anymore, apparently.

"I don't think you understand how much I love you. I love you to like, really, really much. Like, a lot. I don't think I've cared for anyone like I've loved you. " He kept going, cracks in his voice here and there.

She wanted to keep a straight face. She wanted to be firm, professional and poised. She wanted to get the rejection over with and leave just in time to shop or the New Year's Eve dinner she was about to have with her family. But somewhere in that sympathetic smile, she wore (and meticulously kept throughout the conversation), a tear escaped the corner of her eye.

"I'm very sorry. But I'm sure you know where I stand if you're asking for us to get back together" She said firmly but with a slight wobble on her tone this time. She's trying to keep it together as memories flooded her mind. Good memories, good times. Still, memories.

What followed was a simple nod, and several minutes of silence while both patrons of the diner finish their respective food and beverages. After they paid for the food they both walked out of the Diner into the street.

Just before they part their ways, the boy grabbed the girl's arm and said," Maybe I'm not good with my emotions. Maybe I don't know myself enough to process these feelings. Maybe I should have fixed myself so much more before I asked for this again, but I need you. I do. I love you.

She just smiled. "I know you do. I love you too, you know? As a person, as someone who I know is amazing. You've taught me so many things about life and all about it. I just don't think I'll spend the rest of my life with you. Maybe If I say yes today we'll be happy for a month, two months, a year. But you taught me to trust my gut, to listen to my heart. I just don't think we're right for each other. It's not like we ended things without reason. I make you upset. really upset at times. You do so too. Sometimes there's so much joy, love, and romance but other times I feel like I'm pressed against a wall and suffocating when things aren't going well. I'm looking for stability, not an adventure. I'm getting old for that. You are, too."

He keeps a gentle grip on her arm, making it clear that it was done out of affection, and nothing malicious. She acknowledges this and rests her palm on top of his hand. He tries one final time, a sentence he had practiced numerous times in the bathroom, mirror, and elevator prior to this meetup: "Just know that I love you. I do. Not because I want to, not because I need to, not because It's fun, not because it's sweet, not because it's cool to have a girlfriend. I love you because that's the only thing I know how to feel when I'm with you. Every time you laugh or make me laugh, I just can't seem to think of doing anything else except fall in love with you over, and over, and over, and over again.

"That ought to get her", he thought in his head. It did, but not to the extent he hoped.

True, the words surprised her. But she hadn't completely let her guard down; He's always had a way with words. "He probably practiced this on the way here," She thought. Then she went over the things he said once again and made firm her decision: It was over.

"Maybe that's why we're not meant to be. You're crazy about me, and I liked it. I probably still do. But if I'm being honest with you that's not how I feel about you! I loved you, and I cared for you, but a lot of the emotions I felt, I had never dealt with before. No one approached me and liked me. And I appreciated that. It's just, as time went by, I don't feel the same with you. I'm not crazy about you, I sometimes find you annoying, and a lot of times (especially when things go south), I had asked myself why I even bothered fighting for the relationship to go on. Of course, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we are meant for each other. Maybe it's all my fault. I don't know, I don't know, I DON'T KNOW!. Life isn't a movie. I don't know what's happening next, or what's supposed to happen. All I have is the time I have and I'm not sure I want to go through what we had to deal with the first time around. I just want you to know that to me, it was worth it. You made me happy and you changed me for the better when we were together. I hope you can remember me for something positive as well. You know my number, you can always talk to me... We're talking now despite everything, aren't we? You're going to be alright. I'm going to be alright. It's alright to let go.

"Alright then, I'll let go," He said with a wry smile.

"Alright then..." She replied, hesitantly, not knowing how he's taking in everything. Is he going to be upset? sad? angry?

"Well, enjoy your New year's party. Tell your mom I said hey." He said, casually.

"Oh- Oh sure! Yeah, tell your parents I said hey too!" She replied. She wanted to follow up with a few more sentences, but he'd already said goodbye and walked back to the bus station.

-The End