𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐗 ━━ 𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐤 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐝

thirty three | fish

"Oh, I hate George. He married into the cards." She breathes in exasperation. "You think he knew? You think that's why he married her?"

"Uh-huh. That's why he married her." With a roll of her eyes, Meredith replies.

"I need those cards."

"We don't need those cards."

"Lateral stria, go."

The middle of the hallway turns out to be one of the worst places to study, so we move again — this time to one of the nurses' stations of the surgical wing.

Bailey enters through the doorway with a somewhat frantic attitude.

"I know I said you could use the day to study, but we've got an all-hands-on-deck situation."

"A bad car accident?"

"Multiple gunshot wounds?"

"You jinxed it."

"A penis. Chairman of the board's penis." She lets us know.

Meredith's face contorts to one of slight disgust. "What's wrong with it?"

"His testicles have swollen, which is the understatement of the year."

"Fantastic, how much?" Cristina shuts her book. "No, don't tell me. Let it be a surprise."

"Look, you, Grey, and Phoenix can take him for his ultrasound and his x-rays."

"All of us?"

"Yes, all of you."

"The V.I. penis."

"Just go."

Derek, Mark, and Burke stand in front of the chairman's x-ray, an obvious foreign object lodged in him.

"Ouch."

"That almost looks like. . ."

"A skeleton. It's skeleton-like, definitely skeletony. . ."

"Are those. . .barbs?"

"No. Can't be."

"Could be."

Meredith, Cristina, and I watch from behind them, tilting our heads side to side as we examine whatever the foreign object is.

"It looks like a teeny, tiny catfish." Meredith suggests.

"Close." The chief walks in when she makes her statement. "You see there? Those are spines. This is a candiru fish."

I cock a brow. "This guy has a penis fish. . .all up in his penis."

"Wow." Cristina quietly lets out.

Afterwards, we all go into the chairman's room to discuss the proceeding surgery due to his. . .penis fish. And then, we're in the O.R..

"Mark?" I snap my gloved fingers in front of his expressionless face. "Mark, what's the matter with you?"

"I've had better days." He fails to move his gaze from the chairman's exposed genitals.

"Where's Dr. Bailey?" Chief Webber looks around the crowded room. "Page her."

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"V-tach. Does he have a pulse with that?"

"Yes. He needs one epi amiodarone." Burke confirms. "How much longer do you think it'll take?" He slips his stethoscope into his ears.

The chief shakes his head. "You worry about getting his arrhythmia down. We're gonna have to change our game plan here. The scope isn't working."

So they open him up. Once Bailey arrives, they cut out the candiru fish from his bladder. . .a long, skinny, worm-like fish from his bladder.

"What's wrong with you?"

Mark and I are the first ones out of the room, standing in the middle of the scrub room to wash our hands and remove the surgical wear.

"I just watched a spiny fish come out of a chairman's penis." He shudders in disgust. "What do you think is wrong with me?"

My lips tighten, regretting the words about to come out. "You clearly can't talk to Derek about it, so. . .talk to me."

"What?"

"I know I don't have a penis, but you can still talk to me."

"It's Addison." Mark reveals dejectedly. "She and I were gonna try and make a go of it, but things are not gonna work out."

"So?"

"She doesn't want me."

I turn to him with my hands on my hips. "Be an adult for a second, Mark. If you're thinking about letting her go. . .let her go."

"And what if she's the one?"

"She can't be if you're doubting thoughts about beginning a relationship with her."

". . .since when did you give advice, Rising Phoenix?" His lips curve up in an amusing grin.

"Since my life happens to be going well for the first time." My shoulders shrug. "You'll find the right one, okay? Just have a little faith."

"You're turning into Tinker Bell on me."

"Well, I am just as stubborn as her."

After work, Derek waits outside beside my jeep, ready to take a break from the long day of work. We leave for his trailer, marking the first time I'm at his place.

"No wonder Addison wanted you to give up the trailer." My fingers press against his tense shoulders. "I am in love with the view, though."

"And?"

"And you. I love you, too, Shepherd."

In amusement, he lets out a reassuring breath with my words, and I can't help but chuckle. I let my fingers run up the dark curls.

"We haven't had sex yet."

"And?"

"Let's have sex."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

Derek gently nudges me back onto the bed before climbing up on top of me. My lips find his instantly.

"I can get by with this type of hovering. . ."

"A pun in bed. You really are a basket case."

"Hey."