Publicity (One Direction Fanfiction)

I dont deserve this

"And then I kissed her.  I kissed her a few days ago."  Nialls voice made me freeze.  I wanted so badly to look up and see how Harry was taking the news, but I couldnt bring myself to move.  I was scared.  I was horrified!  I couldnt let Niall take all the blame either.

20 days ago I was confused about which boy I wanted to be with.  Niall had every right to believe he stoold a chance with me.  This wasnt all his fault! And Harry needed to know that.

 "YOU BITCH!" The loud scream made me jump, my eyes snapping up to find Liam trying to pull Harry off of Niall.  

"STOP!" I screamed, racing over to the boys.  

"What the hell is going on in here!?" Another voice yelled.  Relief flooded over me as I watched Louis enter the room with Eleanor.  He ran over and threw Harry onto the bed, pushing Niall to the corner.  

"Harry." I cried, covering my mouth with my hand.  The tears flowed out of my eyes, as I was unable to choke them down any longer.  The sight of Harry crying into his hands emotionally drained me.  I wished so badly the pain would just leave.  There is no worse pain than watching the one thing you love more than anything, cry because of you.  I walked over to him, pulling his chin up to look at me.  The room was silent, and I knew all eyes were on us.  He was perched at the end of the bed, as I stoold in front of him, his face in my hands.  

"I love you.  I love YOU. " I cried, letting my hands stroke his cheeks.  The warm feeling made me even more upset, ontop of the tears that were falling from his eyes.  

"I liked it.  I liked her kiss.  I hate that I liked it.  But I did.  I liked the feel of new lips on mine.  But you know what?  That liking?  That lust?  It lasted 2 seconds.  Then I pushed it away, because although I liked her kiss, I LOVE yours.  Nothing will ever compare to the way you make me feel Ashlynn.  Ever!  I want you forever and ever and ever." Harry whispered up at me.  His words stabbed me in the heart, making the terrible feelings multiply by 100.  

"Did you like Niall's kisses? Did my face flash in your mind the second he kissed you?  HUH!?" Harry stoold up and pushed me away.  The cold gesture sent another set of tears flowing out of my eyes.  

"YES HARRY!  BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?!  I HATED THE KISS!  ALL I WANTED WAS YOU TO HOLD ONTO ME!  I NEVER LIKED IT HARRY!  NOT FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND!"  The anger was pouring out.  The anger that he enjoyed the kiss for one second at all.  I never liked Niall's kiss.  Ever.  Sure i kissed back, but that was merely for Nialls sake.  I was confused, and I didnt want to hurt Nial.  But I never liked it. 

How could he betray me like that?   How could he stab me in the back?  How?

 "Get out.  We're done.  Your to much hurt for me to take.  I'm done with this whole fucking deal.  Screw the modeling company.  Screw your fucking career.  IM DONE!" I pushed past Liam and Louis who were standing in front of the hallway.  I flung the door opened, and waited for him to leave.  

"Ash-" I cut him off.  Harry didnt get to speak this time.  Not after all he's done tonight.  

"OUT!" I screamed, staring at the wall across from me.  I couldnt look at him.  I couldnt look at any of them.  I just couldnt anymore.  I looked to the floor as Louis, Niall, Harry, and Eleanor solomnly walked out of the room.  

"Liam." I scolded, waiting for the last guest to leave.  

"I think I'll stay here tongiht.  I'm not so sure you need to be alone in this state.  Plus your still violently ill." Liam sighed, walking over, and helping me to the bed.  

"Liam go.  I'm fine.  Dont you understand I just want to be alone?" I growled, angry that he wouldnt comply.  

"Sleep.  I'll take the couch." Liam ordered, walking over and falling onto the green leather sofa.