Rising and Falling

Spiders

I've never been a quiet guy, you know? Like, if I have an opinion, I'm gonna say it. 

The problem is that a lot of my opinions aren't exactly...positive. And that lands me in a whole lot of a trouble. Regularly.

"I am disappointed in you, Rhys," Principal Dunker said, shaking his head. "You've got the grades and the motivation to get you wherever you want to go, but your behavior... It's atrocious, really."

"I just say it like it is," I said, looking up into the standing man's eyes from my vantage point in the tiny chair across from his desk. I think principals do that on purpose. They get really small chairs for their delinquents to sit in and then they stand up and lecture. I bet it's supposed to be intimidating. "I mean no disrespect," I continued. 

Principal Dunker shook his head again. He does that a lot. He's always disappointed in people and he always feels the need to show it. "But I think you did mean disrespect, Mr. Miller. I think you can't help it. It gives you great pleasure to say something clever and witty doesn't it?"

Nope, it really doesn't, I thought. But that wasn't the answer he was looking for and I had already got in enough trouble already. "I sorry, sir. She just asked and I answered honestly. I thought I was doing the right thing."

"And what was it that she asked?" The large man leaned forward, his face neutral but his eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"She asked..." I paused for effect. "She asked why I was staring at Jenny Lane and if I thought she was pretty. The whole class looked at me and I said... No, she wears too much makeup and the dyed hair is a little pathetic. I'm staring at her cause she's just got a spider in her hair." I shrugged. "And she did have a spider in her hair. I had been watching it crawl around in her ridiculous hairdo for five minutes."

"And the whole class burst into hysteria," Principal Dunker finished. "Let me tell you something about women, Rhys. Actually, two things. First, women do not like to be told they are not pretty. We must constantly flatter them if we don't want to be shunned. Second, if there is a spider anywhere on a woman's body, do not tell her immediately. Do anything, anything else, but don't tell her."

"Like what?" I asked. 

"I don't know," he said, throwing his hands into the air. "Get all the men in the class together and somehow pull it out of her hair without her noticing and then tell her. But only tell her if you have to. It's better if she never knows."