Tori's POV:
I'm telling her today.
Jade.
I'm telling her about my feelings.
Last night Andre finally convinced me to do it after I cried to him for hours about seeing her and Beck making out all day.
I can't take it anymore. It's not fair to me or her. To hide such a bit secret.
Even if she doesn't feel the same I need to know that I tried, or I'll regret it forever.
_____
Sikowitz is ending class and I'm going over my plan one last time. When we're dismissed I go to Jade before she even gets out of her chair.
"Hey can I talk to you?"
She looks me up and down confused "No" She gives her plain expression and gets up to leave
Andre is distracting Beck so I follow her to persuade her
"Please it's very important"
She sighs and continues walking "About what Vega?"
Obviously I'm not just gonna say it right now in the middle of the hallway.
I'll lie "Its about Cat. Something happened."
She stops walking and turns to me "What??" Cat is her soft spot.
"Can we go somewhere private?"
She looks around for a second, takes my hand and leads me to one of the theater rooms.
She lets go of my arm. The skin still burning from where she touched.
"Okay. Spit it out!"
Shit
I've practiced this speech for the last 24 hours.
I've dreamed about this for months.
But I'm speechless now.
"Well uh- Cat is fine. It's actually not about her."
She huffs, getting visibly irritated. I need to calm her down.
I put my hands up in defence "It was the only way to get you alone."
"What? Are you planning on killing me or something. Seriously I have better things to be doing right now!"
"I know! I just..."
"I need to stop putting this off! I need to be honest with you because honestly?! It is killing me! To keep this secret from you every goddamn day!"
Well go off I guess...
She looks at me confused but shuts up. Now interested in what I have to say.
"...Do you remember that night you came over after one of your breaks from Beck?"
"Yes."
"Well. That night opened my eyes a lot. To our... relationship." My voice is shaky
"Look whatever you think that was, it isn't. It wasn't an invitation to be besties ok?"
"No I know. But that night I realized something. Something I couldn't see before. And when I accepted it as the truth. All I've wanted to do was tell you."
I pause for a minute.
To gain the last ounce of courage within me.
To figure out what exactly my next words will be.
"Jesus Vega." She sighs
I open my mouth and look at her..
She looks at me..
Oh God
I can't do this to her.
I can't tell her this.
Not now.
Not ever..
I close my mouth
"Vega? Hellooooo!!" She says annoyed
"Nevermind." I barly whisper and look down to the floor
"I can't hear you. Seriously look at me! What are you trying to say"
I clear my throat. On the verge of tears."Nevermind. I'm sorry."
She huffs in disbelief "Thanks for wasting my time!" I still won't look at her but I know she hasn't moved.
"I'm sorry. Forget this happened. Forget that night." I turn to the exit
She grabs my arm and faces me to her again "No! Your gonna tell me. What happened that night? Why are you so dramatic about it?"
I don't answer "No seriously! Fucking tell me." She bullies to get it out of me
"Your gonna be a coward and not tell me?? Your so pathe-"
"JESUS FUCK OKAY IM IN LOVE WITH YOU!" I yell and throw my hands up.
Shes silent. I can't look at her.
"Your-"
"Your what?"
I sigh. No going back now. May as well go all the way.
I turn back to her "Jade. I have feelings for you. Deep feelings."
"Feelings? Feeli- Tori you got a little more than FEELINGS!" She looks in disbelief
"Jesus your in love with me? Like really??" She doesn't seem relieved, but confused.
"Yes Jade. I'm in love with you. I have always been in love with you. But that night, when I saw you at your worst. So vulnerable. So raw...
I knew
You were the person Id been waiting for.
You were like the Romeo to my juliet."
"But- but I'm with Beck! And- And I'm not gay!"
There it is.
Confirmation for my now broken heart.
"I know. I thought I'd get over it. So I tried to be happy for you two. But I can't do it anymore. I atleast needed you to know how I felt."
"And it's okay your not gay. I didnt expect you to return my feelings. It's okay, we can go back to being friends."
She still looks confused. But a hint of anger is peaking out now.
"No! No its not okay! I can't be around you anymore! This is over!"
Before I can argue, she's gone. Probably to tell the whole school that I'm a raging homo who's just hit on her straight friend.
What have I done. My life is over.
____________________
PT. 2 UP NOW!!
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