Prison is a lot like high school, everyone has a group. There's your butch gays, bottom gays, the white crowd, the black crowd, the Hispanic crowd, the old ones, the queens, and the meth head bible bangers, who I met the hard way.
I was sitting in my bunk, minding my own business when I heard a sniffle on my right. Startled since I'd thought I was alone I looked up hastily to find a almost disgustingly skinny blonde surrounded by a group of dirty, gap toothed, under eye bag having skeletons.
"Hello." I said nervously, squeezing my cheeks.
"Hi." The blonde greeted, "Name is Horan, Niall Horan."
"Hemmings." I replied eyeing his hands, which were behind his back, wearily, "Luke Hemmings."
"So it's true!" Niall breathed, "You're the mayor's son!"
"Uh, yeah." I muttered.
"Oh my Gosh!" He cried, "He's a republican hero! His anti abortion campaign is one of my favorites!"
My jaw tensing since the only thing I had in common with my father was our last name, I nodded slowly.
"So you know Jesus then I'm guessing." One of the guys behind jesus laughed.
"Uh no." I joked, "He kind of died like two thousand years before I was born."
Either they didn't get the joke or they didn't like it. Moving his hands from behind his back Niall held out a well worn bible.
"Do you know Jesus?" He repeated.
"Uh... Yes..." I said slowly, becoming somewhat nervous, "I guess so."
"Do you serve Jesus?"
"I mean, I donate to the ASPCA...."
"IS YOUR SOUL PREPARED FOR YOUR IMPENDING ASCENSION INTO HEAVEN!" Niall shouted, "ARE YOU A DIRTY SINNER?"
"No!" I cried, "Maybe, I hope not! I don't know!"
"Hey! What's going on over here!"
Startled, I looked up to find a large in every since of the word man. Looking the love child of the Hulk and Hagrid he was massive. His skin dark, his hair knotted in small balls on the top of his head but it wasn't his hair that made him look positively insane, it was his eyes.
Large and beady seeming to bug out of his head, they were the stuff of nightmares.
Watching him in horror, my heart stopped as he turned to look at me.
"They bugging you?" I asked.
"No we ain't bugging him!" Niall snapped, "We're saving his sinner soul!"
Rolling his eyes Louis walked by and grabbing his crotch poked his tongue against the inside of his cheek.
"You're going to hell tomlinson!" Niall cried.
"I'm already there." Louis called over his shoulder, "Feel free to join me anytime."
"Ew!" Niall yelped, "I am not gay!"
"Get out of here Derby." the big guy grunted, moving to stand between Niall and I.
"What if I don't want to." Niall said stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest.
"I want you to."
"So? I'm not scared of yo..."
"I WILL CUT YOU!"
His eyes widening, Niall took a small step back while I looked on in horror.
"I. WILL. CUT. YOU. I WILL CUT YOU! I'LL CUT YOU I WILL FUCK YOU UP! I'm not scared of you BITCH YOU DON'T KNOW ME! I. WILL. CUT Y...."
"Okay!" Niall cried, "OKay!"
Angrily, he edged around the big guy and slipped his bible onto the edge of my bunk before slinking away silently, his minions following after him.
Taking a deep breath the big guy turned around to face me and instead of bashing my brains in giggled like a school girl and smiled.
"Uh-um th-thanks for that." I stammered, rising hastily to my feet.
"Don't mention." the guy chuckled, "Baby..."
Choking on my spit I looked up in horror, "What did you call me."
"My name is Leroy." he chuckled ignoring me, "What's your name?"
"Um Luke....I mean, hemmings...Luke Hemmings." I stuttered looking around for someone, anyone to rescue me.
"Luke Hemmings." he said slowly, "That's nice but I'mma forget that, I'm going to call you Dandelion. My Dandelion."
"Excuse me?" I squeaked.
"Has anyone ever told you?" he questioned, stepping closer to me, "That you have a nice dick?"
Again I choked on my spit, only recovering when I stopped breathing as he trailed his fingertips over my crotch, "If you were my wife I'd tell you all day long that you have a pretty dick."
"Um...thank you?" I whispered.
"No problem Dandelion." he chuckled, "What do you say I take a little peek at your package?"
"What?"
"You know, show the goods? My goods."
"You're goods!"
"Yeah, you're my wife, what's yours is mine and what's mine is yours. I can show you mine if you'd liked."
"No!" I cried as he started to pull down his pants, "No thank you! No!"
"What's the matter Dandelion?" he asked, "You nervous? Is this your first time or have you just never seen such a strong, handsome chocolate man such as myself."
Unable to speak I stared up at Leroy in horror.
"Chocolate and Vanilla...swiiiiiirl swiiiiiirl. Me and my dandelion gonna do the chocolate and vanilla swiiirl swiiiiirl...."
"Crazy eyes!" a voice barked suddenly.
Startled, I looked up to find Louis leaning on the doorway of my bunk space.
"What?" Leroy questioned.
Rolling his eyes, Louis turned to look at me, "Hemmings," he sighed, "Do you want to be Crazy Eyes' bitch?"
"No thank you." I squeaked.
"Get out of here Leroy before I get pron stache in here." Louis chuckled.
Sighing, Leroy blew me a kiss before slowly shuffling away, leaving me watching stunned after him.
"Open your mouth and tell him to back the fuck off next time." Louis chuckled starting away, "Or the next time I'll let you to do the old chocolate and vanilla swiiiirl."
