empty spaces ~ armin x reader

chapter nine // retribution (armin's version)

I had so much I wanted to say to her the next time I saw her. I had done the very thing she was afraid of. In my mind, I assumed she wanted time to process her grief and I didn't want to become a distraction. I was an absolute disaster the last time she saw me. I didn't want her to follow me into the grave I dug myself. The longer I stayed away though, the more anxious I was about contacting her. I knew she would loathe me if I ever came back.

Then I had that dream at the bar...

"Arlert? Where'd you go?" The man beside me asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head to soothe the pulsing that started as the dream flashed through my mind. "I'm right here, sir."

"Good," he said. "As I was saying, opening fire doesn't seem like a bad idea if this continues. We need to make sure the people are complying with our safety protocols. We are not doing enough to stifle these outbursts."

I picked up on a familiar laugh from across the floor as the girl I adored and my deceitful best friend engaged in a pleasant conversation. The laugh sounded so genuine that my heart cleaved in two. I wanted to make her laugh like that.

You abandoned her, you asshole. It's only fair that she found someone else.

I couldn't tell if Eren had told y/n about the exchange we had a few weeks ago. I was boiling with rage after listening to his flippant responses about what we've been fighting for since we were twelve. He clearly did not give a shit about anything, and for that reason, I wanted him as far away from her as possible. That mindset had no concept of humanity.

I watched them as y/n tugged Eren from his seat and carried him to the cleared floor directly across from where I was with Captain Weilman. She wrapped her arms around her neck and I felt very, very invisible.

They looked so well together though that it nearly fooled me. Something about them was very similar.

"Yeah, that sounds awful," I contributed to the discussion that was still occurring. Thankfully, Captain Weilman enjoys talking so much that he doesn't notice my detachment.

It seemed like everyone except the Captain cared about Eren and y/n's sexual presentation. Eren's hands danced over her dress, gripping the tight fabric around her waist. I got a perfect view of her hipbone and I wondered if she was wearing anything beneath.

As if she knew what I was thinking, her attention landed directly on me.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I immediately felt embarrassed for my indecent thought. My cheeks burned from the mortification.

Y/n angled her body into Eren so that an inch of space could not be seen between them. I noted his lips as they formed a smirk that added to his unholy beauty. He was fresh and well-groomed compared to what I had seen in the cell. He wore gray, dress pants with no jacket and a shirt that was wrinkled from y/n's chest against his. They exchanged words I could not decipher, but I could read the unparalleled confidence in her expression.

Eren's hands made their way to the very vulnerable skin on her thigh. He teased her with the light touch and I could see the turn-on in her face.

"I apologize. Could we continue this conversation another time? I'd really love to know more about your thoughts," I added politely, interrupting his rant that I wasn't listening to.

I crossed my arms and observed them from behind a table. I tried to piece together everything that would lead y/n to fall for Eren. Perhaps y/n just had a thing for childhood friends. I couldn't really blame her because I had once been in the same situation myself, but that was another story.

Through cracked eyelids, our eyes met for the second time. I gripped onto the back of a chair to keep myself balanced as blood rushed to my lower abdomen. This was the second time she had looked at me. She wanted to make sure I was watching.

My god, this woman.

Y/n's neck opened itself to Eren and he happily took the opportunity to taste her. I watched a woman choke on her drink as all the rest of the witnesses watched Eren suck on y/n. I wasn't the only one watching their display, but I was probably the only one turned on by it. They were beautiful together. Both of them had an intenseness that matched the other.

I leaned forward to read the area. Y/n's eyes were closed once again, except this time the tension released something. It was the same look she had on her face while she ground into me on the airship. As far as I knew, that look was reserved for me. This wasn't the first time I had caught her in the arms of another man or woman, and she had never looked that way.

This was a setup. Beneath it all, she had other intentions. She was willing to publicly objectify herself to make her point. She wanted to see how I would respond. I wasn't jealous... I was impressed. She knew that if I meant my words that I would chase her down. I didn't mind Eren taking my place because she was using him just as much as he was using her.

My legs carried me towards them and Eren saw me before y/n did.

"Wait," he said to y/n when he saw me.

I stopped in front of them and Eren's stare raked me up and down. Something about his recklessness had me wanting him even as I hated him. Maybe one day the three of us could–

"Want to join us?" Eren asked me and I almost said yes. Y/n looked astonished as her jaw hung open.

I needed to put her first though and make up for my absence.

"Perhaps another time," I replied with a grin that he returned. He knew what was on my mind. "I was wondering if I could steal y/n away from you."

Eren glanced between y/n and back to me. "Y/n is her own decision-maker. You will have to ask her."

I turned my attention back to her illuminated face. It was flushed from what I assumed was alcohol. She only looked at Eren.

"What will you do?" she asked.

"I've got to go back to my cell soon if I'm going to make it in time."

I would question this later, but right now all my focus was on her.

"I'll find someone to escort you," she said before grabbing Eren's arm and running off. I placed my hands in my pockets as I stood awkwardly on the dance floor. She hurried back to me as soon as Eren had been safely exchanged with a guard.

"Ready?" I asked hopefully.

She wordlessly nodded and I took that as my cue to offer my hand.