empty spaces ~ armin x reader

chapter five // vulnerable

a/n: apologies for another late chapter edit. i was camping with my family all weekend and had no service. i did read a lot of manga on my kindle though, which was fun. also special shoutout to berry, my pet frog. thanks, bestie for proofreading my chapters. you're a real one, berry. may the gods of crickets bless you.

sidenote~ happy pride month to my beautiful queer readers! 

!! slight mature content warning (i don't recommend reading this around family members) !!

playlist to listen to while you read: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPuz-isz7lpRZADQrxOfgr2A3iRvOd1fm

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𝓼𝓵𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓶𝔂 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮

𝓲 𝓽𝓻𝔂 𝓽𝓸 𝓬𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂 𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓽𝓮

𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓷 𝓲𝓽

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armin's pov:

Who said I don't want you...

My face burned as my brain tried to convince me I was in one long dream. I was still in a state of shock and denial.

I was pretty skilled at reading people. I could tell by glancing at a person's eyes what business they wanted with me. Feelings were no mystery to me, it was almost like a game. I could predict how long a couple would stay together or if the girl had been sleeping with her lover's best friend. I knew what sort of things went on in someone's head. I could discern if they were having a bad day or needed someone to listen to them vent. Day or night person? Hostile or kind? Fake or genuine? It all came together like one lengthy profile in my mind.

Y/n's profile was strictly forbidden. It was like a vault and I couldn't find the right key to open it. It made me irrational around her. She made it so easy for others to express themselves around her while keeping herself under a stringent lockdown.

Only those with something buried deep that they couldn't let others know, sentence themselves to be cast into the background.

I found the crack in her armor. Y/n pushed herself too far and in that moment that I saw it. I saw the conflict devouring her. To live a life with someone and then watch it disappear to nothing had taken its toll. Nostalgia would always keep her captive and emotionally drained. She clung to the past like a safety net because the present was too burdening to bear by herself.

Her lips were needy and shockwaves coursed through me when I felt them. The kiss was how she was speaking to me. She embraced it with a heartfelt letter that answered so many of my questions. I wanted to punch myself so hard for not being able to reply back.

I tucked my hood down a little further over my flushed face with my free hand. A breeze had picked up, getting caught in the mainsail. The boat tilted towards the port side. I adjusted my hand on the tiller, directing the boat towards my desired coordinates.

I'd come to the conclusion that y/n had started something that was far from over. I wondered how she was. She was tough and it would take a lot to get under her skin, knowing from experience. She and I were on separate ends of the same battlefield and that was part of what scared me. I was always worried about my best friends. I vowed to shield them from whatever demons haunted them. I didn't really care what happened to me in the process, they were always more important.

Becoming an enemy of the world was a price I was going to pay.

I had pleaded Eren's case for years. I knew he always had the right goal in mind, but I finally knew why people were starting to doubt him.